Courage, Love, Strength, Life
by taylor519
Summary: Dallas Winston's sister has sought him out and moved in with him. She's got Dally's fiery temper, and when she gets to Tulsa so much drama ignites it, but can a certain Curtis brother calm her down? My first story ever so no flames please.. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I do not own the outsider or any of the characters except for Jenny. The rest belongs to S.E. Hinton_

Chapter One

I took a seat on the train and stared out the window. It was going to be a long ride. I hated trains; they were filled with people with families and places to go, things to look forward to. I didn't have that. My dad was an abusive drunk and my mother ran out on us when I was young. My dad married a new woman who didn't seem to care about anything. I had left home when I was thirteen, following in my brothers footsteps, I stole my dad's money and gun and lived on the tough side of New York for years. I lived with some guy who was really tough but he put a roof over my head so I took what I could get. I got money wherever I could, I could never hold a steady job though. I mostly made bets and gambled. I got really good at poker, and at fighting. I had to learn how to stand up for myself, but those first few years were horrible, I was jumped all the time and raped twice, but I got over it... eventually. Any other girl would be haunted for life, but something in me gave me the strength to move on.

I was headed to Tulsa, Oklahoma. I had recently gotten out of reformatory school and had nowhere to go. After sleeping on the street for what seemed like the millionth time, I decided I was sick of it and looked my brother up. I hadn't thought about him in a long time. I blamed him for a lot of the things that happened to me at first.

When I was ten, I woke up in the middle of the night and heard him moving around. I went to see what he was doing and after watching from around the corner for a while I realized he was getting ready to leave. He was twelve; he had gotten fully dressed, took dad's money and his gun and was ready to go.

"Where are you going?" I asked in a small voice.

"I'm leaving and I'm not coming back, I won't put up with this anymore so I'm getting out." He whispered, plain and simple. I couldn't believe it. He was just going to leave me here, with an abusive father. My brother was the only thing keeping me sane in the house, he was the only thing that mattered to me, and he was just leaving.

"Take me with you." I asked. I knew he would say no, but I had to try. He couldn't just desert me.

"No." And he turned to walk out the door. I ran up behind him and hugged him. I realized this could be the last time I saw him. He turned to face me and wiped away my tears, then pried my arms off him.

"I love you." I whispered to him, he looked me in the eyes and held my face in his hands. He kissed the top of my head then turned and walked out the door. I hadn't seen him since, I also have not said I love you to anyone else in my life, and I don't think I ever will.

Dads beat me for a week straight after that. He was upset about being robbed and took it out on me. I couldn't care less. I just sat there, numb, and took it. I hated him, I hated my dad and my brother for leaving me with him, I hated my life. When I turned thirteen I did what my brother did and never looked back.

I sat looking out the window and thinking, ugh, another reason I hate trains, too much time with your thoughts. I wondered if my brother would be anything like me. I had hated him for years after he left, but after I turned fourteen, I realized I really couldn't blame him, I had done basically the same thing, and I don't know if I would have survived another year in that house. I didn't know how my brother had turned out, but I did know how I was.

I was tough... really tough. I didn't look it though. I had long blond hair and the same ice blue eyes as my brother. I had an hourglass body and looked harmless, but I defiantly wasn't. In New York, girls in the neighbourhood knew not to pick a fight with me, they wouldn't win. Most the time a fought guys, in self defence or because they called me something, and half the time I won. I wasn't as strong as them but I could throw a hard punch and deke anything that came my way. I had an extreme temper; no one told me what to do or raised their voice at me without consequences. No one could control me, not many dared to try. Other than being a bad-ass, I was a heart breaker. I looked good, which caught most guys eyes, then my independence made them want me to be theirs... but that would never happen. I was my own person, I belonged to no one. I didn't believe in monogamy-why should I stick to one guy when there are so many out there? Don't get me wrong, I am no whore. I didn't just go around sleeping with guys at parties. I got to know the guy first and if we had fun together then I would keep him around, none of my guys were there just for sex, I could talk to them too. My type was typically bad, just like me, because they were the only ones that could handle me. I wasn't purposefully making them 'fall in love' with me, they just did. I would warn them too, when we first met I usually let a guy who was diggin' me know that I was not good for him, I would cheat on him, and he should probably stay away if he wanted to stay the rock-hard guy he was. Unfortunately that usually made them want me more, but at least when it was over I could defend myself and say I gave him fair warning.

The train stopped. I picked up my bags and stepped off. I took a look around and a deep breath. This was it. I was going to find my brother. The only person I had ever said 'I love you' to. The only person I had ever cared about. The person who had deserted me when I was ten. I was going to find Dallas Winston.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

I picked up my bag and headed down the street. I didn't really know where I was going, I knew Dally was in Tulsa, but I couldn't find his exact address. I figured I would grab something to eat and find a place to stay and start looking for him tomorrow, there was really no rush. I didn't even know what I would say to him. Would he even remember me? Or care? He had to.

I started to feel like I was being followed. I stopped and looked behind me to see a nice mustang trailing me. It looked so out of place in this poor neighbourhood. I wondered why they were out here when they were obviously rich. Then I saw the look in the guy driving's face and didn't wonder anymore. I had seen that look many times; they were looking for a fight, or some action. Great, what a way to start my life in Tulsa.

I turned and walked at the same pace, showing them I was not scared, and they pulled up beside me.

"Hey grease!" The guy closest to me yelled.

"What?" I was a little caught off guard, I mean I had been called a lot of names, but grease was new. They all jumped out and surrounded me. There were four of them, only one looked really big to me though.

"We're looking for some fun. Want to give us a good time?" One of them taunted. That made me mad, I mean, do I look like a fuckin' hooker?

"Fuck you," I spat at him. Just like that one pounced at me, but I jumped back out of his reach.

"You little bitch!" He snarled at me. That was it, I was mad now. I threw the first punch and cracked him right in the jaw. He was kind of small so it was a hard enough hit to knock him down. One if the other guys grabbed me from behind and another one punched me in the stomach. I let out a loud 'oouf' noise then kicked him on the gut. He leaned forwards clutching his stomach and I head butted him. He fell to the ground unconscious. I tried to wiggle out of the guy holding me's arms but he was really strong, then I was punched in the face and thrown on the ground. I punched someone but was getting pretty dizzy. I kicked and punched and they couldn't get on top of me so I got punched again, I could taste the blood. Then I heard someone screaming from a distance. The struggling stopped and as soon as they were off me I jumped to my feet and lifted my fists, I was not going to lose this. They were already running. One of the guys picked up their buddy from the ground and they all ran off.

I looked over to see three guys running towards me. Oh great, heroes, I thought sarcastically. I was glad they came along, but I didn't like being saved, I could take care of myself well enough.

They came up to me. I looked at each of them, they were dressed like hoods, which made me feel a little more comfortable, at least they were my type of people. One was really tall and really strong and he looked handsome, beside him was a smaller boy who looked similar, I figured they were related, and next to him was a guy with a cocky grin and long side-burns.

"Are you alright?" The big one asked me.

"Yeah I'm fine, you didn't have to do that you know," I replied, a little aggravated I didn't get to knock out another one. I like winning my fights.

"Yeah, it looked like you pretty much had it handled," laughed the guy with the side-burns. I didn't know if he was talking about the guy I knocked out or mocking me for obviously being in distress, so I just smiled at him. I was still a little dizzy from hitting the ground.

The big guy started introductions, "I'm Darry, this is my brother Ponyboy and this is Two-Bit," he said pointing to the guy who was still smiling at me.

"Hey, I'm Jenelle, but call me Jen or Jenny if you don't want to get your teeth kicked in," I smiled to make it sound nicer. I hated when people used my full name.

"You moving or something?" Ponyboy asked, pointing to my bag. I picked it up and brushed it off.

"Naw, I'm new to town," I replied, "I'm actually looking for someone..." I figured I'd asked them, I came here to find him so I might as well start here, "Do you guys know Dallas Winston?" They exchanged looks of confusion then looked back at me.

"Yeah, we know Dally, why?" Darry answered. Wow, it was a lot easier to find him then I thought it would be. I smiled at him.

"He's an old friend... from New York," I said, I don't know why I didn't tell him I was his sister. I guess the first person I wanted to know that was Dally.

"Well, come back to our place and we'll call him up for you," Ponyboy offered. I accepted and walked back to their place. Two-Bit was joking the whole way back trying to guess who I was, he was real funny too.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

I sat at their kitchen table, laughing at Two-Bit. He was a good guy, I liked him. Ponyboy was doing some dishes and Darry was icing a chocolate cake. He saw me eyeing it and offered me a piece. Of course I said yes, I absolutely love chocolate. They had already called Dally and when he heard a girl from New York was here to see him he was hesitant at first, he made Darry ask me if I had a kid or something, I laughed and told him no. So Dallas agreed to come see me and was on his way. I was pretty nervous actually, but I didn't let that show.

"So are your parents at work or something?" I asked, starting a conversation.

"They passed away a few months ago," Darry replied.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I mumbled awkwardly, I felt bad for bringing that up, but how was I supposed to know?

"It's alright, I got custody and I take care of Ponyboy and my other brother Sodapop now, we do okay," He said, lessening the tension, "how about your parents?" He asked me.

Then I heard the front door open.

"You're about to find out," I told him, which I'm sure confused the hell out of all of them.

I took a deep breath and looked into the living room at him. There he was. He had blond hair like me and the same blue eyes I remember. He had a hard edge to his face and had a slight build. I walked into the room.

He turned to look at me and stopped dead in his tracks. He stared at me for a really long time. It was really quiet; I guess the guys were trying to read his reaction. I didn't know what to say. Should I introduce myself? Does he recognize me? After what seemed like an eternity I mumbled "Hey."

"Wh...w...wha...what are you... doing here?" He stammered, what a dumb question, but at least he knew who I was. "I mean... uh... how did you... where did you... how'd you find me?"

"I was looking for a place to crash one night and just, kind of decided to look you up, when I found out where you were I sort of wanted to come see you, that's all," I kept it short and sweet. He still just looked at me; it was like he didn't think I was really here. I silently begged for him to say something because it was getting kind of awkward. Did he not want to see me?

"Okay, one of you has got to let us know what is going on, the suspense is killing me!" Two-Bit exclaimed, breaking the silence. I knew he wouldn't keep quiet much longer; he didn't seem like the quiet type person.

Dally took a deep breath and walked over to stand beside me. He put his hand on my back and turned towards them.

"Guys, this is my sister, Jenelle Winston."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

I smiled at him. It sounded good to hear him say that, to introduce me as his sister.

We all sat down in the living room and talked for a while. I explained to him me leaving the house when I was thirteen, doing exactly as he did. He laughed and said that was a good idea. I talked a bit about living on my own, not much though. I bragged about how well I could fight and he bragged back.

"What happened to your face?" he asked me, gesturing towards the bruise that was defiantly darkening from my fight earlier.

"You sister here got jumped Dal," explained Two-Bit, "but you should've seen her go, she knocked one of them out cold, the girl can really throw a punch, but there were too many of them so we stepped in to help her out," he grinned at me.

Dallas gave him a look then turned back to me to congratulate me. I told them about the guy calling me 'grease' and they explained to me how things are around here. There are the rich kids, called 'socs' and the hoods, like us, called 'greasers.' Apparently there is a rivalry between to two groups and people get jumped all the time. Sounded pretty crazy to me, but I figured I'd fit right in since I never liked them rich kids too much anyways.

It started to get kind of dark and I asked Dally where he was living and if I could stay there a while. He told me he was living with a guy named Buck and I could stay as long as I wanted as long as I was no trouble to him.

As we walked over to Buck's I was quiet for a while. There was so much I wanted to say, but I was really tired and my head hurt from being jumped.

"Your friends seem really nice," I finally said.

"Yeah they're good guys, and you only met half of them, there're three more to the gang, Steve, Soda and Johnny..." He began to tell me about each of them.

Two-Bit was the joker, I had already figured that out though. Darry was the oldest of the brothers and kind of took care of everyone, he worked a lot though. Ponyboy was the kid brother; he was a bit of a bookworm. Soda was a lady's man, and most people's best friend and Steve was Soda's best friend. Then there was Johnny. Something changed about Dally when he talked about Johnny. His tone and language and everything stayed the same but still something was different. Johnny had it rough at home so everyone in the gang looked out for him; they all took care of him. I got the feeling Dally cared a lot about Johnny, I don't know how I knew, but I did.

We walked in the run-down looking old building and he introduced me to Buck. Buck was a real ugly man with a mean drunk look, but I figured he and Dally were close so he was alright. Dally lead me upstairs to a small room and I dropped my bag on the floor. It really was a mess. He picked some things off the floor and moved them aside. I sat down on the bed.

"You can sleep on the floor tonight, I'll grab you an extra blanket and we'll see about finding you a mattress or something tomorrow." He told me. That made me mad, I had just had a long trip all the way to Tulsa to see him and he wanted me to sleep on the floor? I didn't want to cause a fight my first night here but I was really looking forward to cozying up in bed and going to sleep instead of rolling around on the floor.

"I want the bed tonight, my head still hurts and I had a long trip, you take the floor," I told him.

"What? No, you're not going to just kick me out of my bed like a little brat just because you got a headache," he snapped at me. I looked at him, I guess he doesn't like being told what to do just as badly as me. But now my temper was getting to me. Did he really just call me a brat? Who does he think he is, I don't have to take this from him.

"Don't call me a brat! You ass-hole, I had a long trip and I just want a good sleep! Is that really so much to ask?" I fumed at him.

"Don't you yell at me! You come into my life, out of fucking nowhere, and expect me to drop everything for you! Fuck you!" He screamed. So he really didn't want me around. That's fine then, I'll go find someplace else to stay.

"Fine, you don't want me here I'll just go find some guy to shack up with tonight!" I screamed. I always had guys in New York I knew who were willing to let me stay the night, we didn't really sleep though. I'm sure I could find someone around here just as willing as they were. I was ready to storm out the door when he stopped me. He stood blocking my exit. The anger was gone from his face.

"Sit down." He commanded.

"No." He wasn't going to just boss me around like that. He picked me up and put me down on the bed.

"You can sleep here," he said without emotion. When I just stared at him, not getting ready for bed or having any intention of staying he sighed and said, "I...I uh... I'm glad you're here." Then he left the room without looking at me.

I was surprised. He never backed down like that when we were little. Maybe he got soft? That couldn't be it, Dally was not a soft guy, he was like me. The only reason I could think of that he would back down was that he didn't want me out with a guy. Was he the protective older brother type? I didn't know. I hoped not because he told me not to be too much trouble for him. When it comes to guys I'm a lot of trouble.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

I woke up the next morning feeling much better. Dallas offered to take me out for breakfast and I agreed. We went to a little place where plenty of greasers hung out and I had waffles. He knew everyone there and introduced me to a couple people. As we were leaving a guy swaggered up to us and began chatting with Dally, they were saying something about some drag race when he asked about me.

"This pretty little broad here your sister?" he asked and winked at me. I guess news really travels fast around this town.

"Yep," he said, eying the guy carefully

"I'm Jenny," I spoke up when I realized Dally was not going to introduce us. The guy smiled at me.

"Hey, I'm Tim, Tim Shepard, it's real nice to finally meet you, your kind of known around here by now," I wondered what he meant by that. "I mean last night when we heard Dally had a sister, you kind of became the gossip of the town, and I heard you beat up some socs too," he explained. Wow news travels really fast around here. I giggled at him because the way he said it made it sound like I just got to town and started beating up rich kids.

"Well they started it, so I had to finish it," I smiled at him.

"You're pretty tough, huh?" He eyed me coolly.

"You could say that, I ain't easy to beat anyways," I bragged a little. I liked him, he seemed pretty cool. He had dark hair and eyes and you could tell he was bad by the way he walked, but when he talked to me he was kind.

"She takes after her brother," Dally cut in, lightly pushing Tim away from me. It sounded almost like a threat the way he said it but it could have also just been a comment. So he was going to be protective, oh boy, this should be fun.

"Alright Dal, I got to go do something, I'll see you guys around," Tim realized he was not welcome, smiled at me once more then left. I had a feeling I would defiantly see him again.

After breakfast we headed over to Darry's. I kind of figured that's where everyone hung out, since they had the house to themselves. We got to the door and I got ready to meet the rest of the gang.

I walked into a zoo. Two-Bit was wrestling some guy, the music was playing real loud, people were watching Mickey Mouse and laughing their heads off and some guys were playing poker. When they saw me walk in Ponyboy turned down the music so I could meet everyone.

Steve was the one wrestling Two-Bit, well losing to Two-Bit; he choked out a hello to me then went on trying to get out of a choke hold. I had to laugh because Two-Bit was trying to commentate the whole thing while holding Steve down. Johnny was watching Mickey Mouse, he looked really young. He had a dark complexion and was really quiet; I guessed he was probably just shy. When he turned to say hi to me I saw the bruise on his face and his dark eyes, he had real nice eyes, I smiled at him. Then Soda came out of the bathroom. He was wearing only a towel and nearly dropped it, then blushed when he saw me. He was something else. I immediately hoped he was single. He came over to me and looked me up and down.

"So your Dallas' sister?" He smiled and asked me. He had a great smile, like a movie star. It was weird that I couldn't say anything; he was just so gorgeous I was kind of staring. I just nodded in response and he laughed.

"Wow you really are something else, Two-Bit here has been talking about you all day," he laughed as Two-Bit jumped up and punched him. I had to laugh at that. Soda went off to find some pants and I bit my lip, I would defiantly be seeing him around. Dally grabbed me and sat me down next to Johnny, I don't think he liked how the guys were looking at me and thought Johnny would be my best bet. The boys went back to doing what they were and I chatted with Johnny. He didn't say much, so I talked about myself mostly, but he seemed interested enough in what I was saying. It was funny watching the guys be wild.

Soda came back downstairs and into the kitchen for a piece of cake, he asked me if I wanted one and I said yes. He came back into the room with two pieces and handed one to me then sat down beside me.

"So how you liking life in Tulsa so far?" He asked me between bites of cake.

"It's much better than New York, much more calm," I smiled as Two-Bit and Steve rolled towards us and knocked over the table. He laughed at that.

"New York must be pretty crazy!" He had no idea, but I was tired of the small talk, I figured I might as well be forward with this.

"So is your girlfriend around?" I asked as casually as I could.

"Nah, I don't have a girlfriend." He smiled at me, "why, you interested?" He asked with a flirty laugh. He didn't have a girlfriend? Him? He had to be lying. I don't like when guys lie to me, if he had told me yes I would have tried to get him anyways but to lie to my face like that was insulting.

"You're lying to me. There's just no way your single." I didn't believe him. He laughed at me.

"I swear to you I'm not lying. Really!" he exclaimed.

I turned to Johnny, he was a nice kid and probably not good at lying so I asked him. "Johnny, does Soda here have himself a girlfriend?"

"Nope, and he don't lie either," he replied. He wasn't lying.

"Wow, that's just hard to believe," I turned to Soda, who was laughing at my reaction so I playfully slapped his arm. "Well then, Buck's having a party tonight, why don't you come by?" I didn't mind asking guys out, they usually said yes and the ones that didn't were intimidated by me asking them out and that meant they weren't my type anyways. I had heard Dally and Buck talking about the party, and I figured since I lived there I was invited.

"Your awfully forward aren't you?" he asked me smiling.

"Does that scare you?" I gave him a flirty look from under my eyelashes.

"Terrifying," he laughed a little, "I'll come by around ten." He grabbed my plate and went into the kitchen. I got to know the group pretty well and hung out with them all day. Soda and I flirted most the time, but not too obviously because I could see Dally getting a little uncomfortable. Two-Bit had me in stitches the entire time, and provided entertainment for everyone. It was nice to be with them all.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

People started to show up around eight that night. I was still upstairs getting ready; I didn't really want to go downstairs until closer to nine. If I went down too early I would just spend the night turning guys down. I had a date today and I was looking forward to it. I needed this, to relax and hang out with a nice guy. I put on a short skirt, not too short because I did realize Dally would be here, and a low cut top. I had really nice boobs and decided showing a little of them wouldn't hurt anyone. I put a jean jacket on and went to do my make-up. I curled my hair and looked at my final creation, it looked really good and I was proud of myself. I hadn't bothered to do myself up so well in a while.

I went downstairs around nine thirty, simply because I couldn't sit in that little room anymore. I looked around for people I knew, but couldn't find anyone except Buck, and I had no plans to go talk to him. Most people at the party were already wasted, so I decided to head to the kitchen and grab a drink or something. I grabbed a beer and turned around and ran right into someone. He laughed and grabbed each of my elbows to steady me.

"Hey there, you ought to watch where you're going!" He grinned down at me. I looked up and smiled back.

"Hey Tim," I said to him.

"Hey Jenny, your lookin' fine tonight," he complimented "You want to dance?" I did, but I was really looking forward to seeing Soda, and didn't want to mess things up with him.

"Not yet, maybe later though?" I didn't want to completely turn Tim down, he was cute, and my type.

"Okay, later," he agreed, and turned to walk away but I grabbed his arm.

"Wait! Do you mind talking with me a while, I don't really know anyone here," I confessed. It was kind of embarrassing not knowing anyone, back in New York I was always the most popular girl at parties, the center of attention.

"I'd love to," he stayed and we chatted for half an hour. He was really sweet, but obviously a bad-ass too. I liked him, and after a little while I was beginning to think Soda wasn't going to show. Eventually Tim caught on that I was waiting for someone and asked me about it.

"How'd you know?" I asked him.

"Well first off you didn't want to dance with me, which means either you got a man or you prefer women," he joked, and I giggled at him, "but I kind of figured it out because every time the door opens you jump up to look around. So who is he?" He was still smiling at me, and trying to sound casual, but I could tell he was really curious.

"Who is who?" Soda asked from right beside me. I jumped a little then smiled really wide. He put his arms around my waist and hugged me then kissed me on the cheek. I turned back to Tim but he was gone, I could understand that he didn't really want to stick around.

"You showed up!" I exclaimed, he laughed and said of course he did. He asked me to dance and of course I agreed. I don't know what it was about Soda, I felt really safe around him, and happy. I let him lead me to the middle of the floor. He was an excellent dancer. His hands were gentle but still firm and he was very warm. I laughed as he whispered into my ear that I looked pretty because his breath tickled me. We danced for a few songs when Dally came ripping in between us.

"What the hell are you doing down here!" He screamed at me. It actually scared me because it was so unexpected. Then I got mad, nobody yells at me like that. What was his problem anyways?

"I'm dancing you idiot, what the fuck does it look like?" I snapped.

"Don't yell at me!" He screamed, "And you! What the fuck are you doing! She's my sister!" He turned on Soda, ready to knock him out. That was it for me, embarrass me in front of everyone then yell at my date? He's going to get his ass handed to him. I grabbed him and pushed him with all my strength, he didn't go very far though, he was stronger than he looked.

"Don't you scream at him!" I yelled, "Your missing all fucking party then when I start having fun you come out of nowhere and wreck it? Fuck you!" I grabbed Soda's arm and dragged him out of the party before I got madder. I was close to punching Dallas in the face and I could tell he was ready to do the same. I figured I should get out of there before one of us got knocked out. Plus we were causing a scene. He was yelling and cussing me out as I left but I payed no attention to him.

Once we were down the street and in the clear I let go of Soda's arm and fumed, pacing back and forth. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. I hate people telling what to do. After a couple minuets I turned to look at him, he was just watching me.

"Whoa. You alright?" He asked me. He was so nice, I'm sure that embarrassed him as much as me and he was still here looking out for me. I started to relax a little and went closer to him and hugged him. I buried my head in his neck and smiled, I took a deep breath with him holding me, he smelled so good, and was so warm.

"Yeah, I'm okay now," I pulled back and looked at him, I tried to find some anger or repulse in his eyes but all I saw was comfort. No guy had ever been this nice to me.

We walked to the park and sat on the bench for a while. We just talked for a while; I explained how it's difficult to live with Dally because we both have the same temper and neither of us ever back down.

"I'm glad I found him and everything, it's just kind of hard to deal with him sometimes, plus he won't let any guy near me."

"Yeah, I can imagine that being difficult, and you both have crazy tempers. When you guys get mad, there's a glint that comes into your eyes and you just flip out." He commented. I looked up at him, he looked away and shrugged. I suddenly felt bad he had to see that side of me, especially so soon. I looked at the ground, kind of embarrassed. It was weird; I had never been embarrassed about my temper before, but being there with Soda made me realize it probably wasn't a good thing that I blow up so easily. He saw that I was worried and put his hand on my cheek and turned my face towards his. Then he kissed me. It felt so good. No one had ever kissed me like that; it wasn't passion, but something else. It was warm and gentle and made me feel like everything was okay.

When he pulled away I just looked at him. It scared me how much I felt with him. I don't feel things, and I don't usually tell people my feelings either but something about Soda had just made me tell him how I felt about living with Dally. Soda made me feel warm and comfortable and better than I had in years.

"Jen, I... uh... I like you, and I want to take you out again but..." Oh no, at that but my heart sank, no, no, no, "... well I don't know how Dally's going to deal with all this, and after all he is my buddy." He confessed.

"Soda, you can't let Dally scare you away from me! I'll talk to him..." I started but he cut me off.

"No, you don't have to talk to him, I will, I'm... calmer with him," he smiled at me, "It's getting late, I'll walk you back and talk to Dally in a couple days when he cools off." I thought that was very gallant of him, Dally could be a scary person sometimes.

We got up and walked back to Bucks, he let me borrow his jacket on the way, it smelled like him and I liked that. When we got there he kissed me once quickly, making me feel warm again, and I went inside. I forgot to give him back his jacket.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

When I got in the house the party was still going strong. Everything was the same as I left it except everyone was drunker. I headed upstairs immediately; I didn't really feel like talking to anyone or running into Dally. Tim stopped me on my way upstairs.

"Dally's looking for you," he warned me "he's really mad." I thanked Tim for the heads up and told him I was fine then went upstairs. I just felt like going to sleep.

Dally wasn't up there, thank God, so I got into pyjama's and Soda's jacket and crawled up in bed. He wouldn't like that he had to sleep on the floor again but I didn't care. I lay there and thought about Soda. I pulled the jacket on tighter and sighed. What was going on with me? I had never felt about anyone like this. I couldn't wait to see him again.

Then a scary thought came into my head. I was going to have to tell Soda that he shouldn't be with me. I told every guy I was ever with because it's only fair to them that they get fair warning that I'm going to hurt them. I always do. I couldn't imagine myself hurting Soda ever, but then again, I couldn't imagine myself with just one guy, even if it was Soda. I tried to revise my speech, the one I told any guy who started to like me.

"_Soda, I know you really like me, and I like you too but there are some things you should know about me. I am not good at relationships. I cheat and I'm really bad at emotional stuff. I want to be with you, but I don't think we should be together. If you want to then of course we will, but I'm telling you now, that you don't want us to be, because if we are, you're probably going to get hurt."_

That basically sums up what I usually tell them. I thought it over again in my head. I just couldn't say that to Soda. I can't let him know how bad of a person I really am, I would feel awful and I know he would leave me. I can't say that to him. If I do it has to be before he talks to Dally, so that if he makes the right decision and leaves, then he won't even have to deal with Dally. I flinched at the thought of what his reaction might be to me saying I cheat. I hated that I had to do this, but I just couldn't imagine me changing the way I am. Not for anyone, not even Soda. It was the right thing to do to tell him, so that he has the option to get out before he gets too far in.

Why did I even care? I have said this to a million different guys and never gave it a second thought. Why did I care so much what Soda would think of me? Why did I care so much about him? I tugged his jacket up towards my face and breathed in. Oh yeah, that's why. Because every time I got near him I felt different, happy, comfortable.

I must have dosed off thinking about him, but was awoken by Dally thumping around the room. He was drunk, really drunk, and didn't seem to care he was making a lot of noise. He knew I was laying there, I could hear him grumbling about sleeping on the floor. I just kept my eyes shut and pretended to sleep because it wasn't worth my time to tell him to hush. As soon as he hit the floor he was out.

The next morning when I woke up, Dally was still sound asleep on the ground. I got up and went downstairs to make some breakfast. There was nothing in the fridge and nothing in the cupboards... well nothing that wasn't expired anyways. I sighed; figures there wouldn't be any food. I did find some aspirin and poured a glass of water for Dally though. I needed to talk to him and I figured now would be a good time since he wouldn't yell due to a hangover.

He came down the stairs a little while after me and sat down at the table. I sat on the other side of it. He looked like shit. Perfect. That meant no yelling. I handed him the pills and water. He glanced at me once then took them.

"We need to talk," I told him. He just looked at me and didn't say anything. "I know you're my brother and everything, but I just got here. I have lived on the tough side of New York for years and I know how to handle myself-" he tried to cut me off but I raised my voice and that made him flinch from what I'm sure was a killer headache "-and I am not okay with you acting like you're the boss of me." I finished. He looked up at me and groaned.

"Look, Jen, I know you don't like being told what to do, believe me, I don't either, it's just that... well... your my little sister," he sighed. I realized this was hard for him. I had come to notice that Dally and I both tried our best to hide from feeling real emotions. We didn't like loving or anything like that, but the difference between us was that when we did feel those things-which was rare-I could explain it and talk about it better then he could. It was probably because I was a girl.

"Could you maybe try to cool it off just a bit Dally? I mean we both know Soda's a good guy, better for me then most of the hoods around here," I tried to wear him down a little.

"Yeah, I guess so, but he better not mess with you!" he threatened, pointing his finger at me. I smiled.

I turned to go out and see Soda, now it was time for the hard conversation. I took a deep breath and prepared myself. I thought it was kind of funny that I was not afraid to have a difficult talk with Dally, but going to see Soda right now terrified me. My mind raced the whole walk over to his house.

**Author's Notes:**

**I'm really trying to keep Dally in character, but also show he cares about Jenny. Please review and let me know what you think so far!**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

I took a deep breath as I arrived at the DX station. Steve was there working on a car and he smiled at me when he saw me.

"Hey, Jenny, what you doin' over here?" he asked me.

"I was just looking for Soda... is he around?" He gave me a curious look and nodded to the back room. I smiled at him and went to see Soda.

I found him going through some papers with his back to me. When he noticed I was there he turned to grin at me. His huge warm smile. Why did that smile make me so happy? I mentally shook myself. Stay focused.

"Hey what are you doing here?" he asked.

"I... uh... I wanted to talk to you," I started. Why did I feel so nervous? My knees were shaking!

"Does Dally know your here?" he asked suddenly.

"No... but I really got something I need to say," I started and sat down on the table, he sat down on the chair next to me. He looked curious now. I looked at him. He looked so good, so happy and... innocent. All I have to do is tell him, I've told a million guys before him and I can do it now. So why couldn't I say it? I've never felt like this before, not to anyone. Well here goes nothing...

"Soda, I really like you... a lot, and I know you like me too, but-" I started but stopped, as soon as I said 'but' his face fell. I felt so bad! Just get it over with, I told myself. "-well... I don't think we should be together. It's not that I don't want to, I do... I really do, it's just that... well... I'm not good for you Soda. I mean, I'm not good at being in a relationship in general, I lie and I'm too independent and I cheat. If we're together I'm afraid I'm going to break your heart, and I just can't do that to you." Okay, so it's not what I usually tell guys, but Soda's different. He's not just some greaser who I was telling this to so that I wouldn't feel bad if I hurt them. I was telling him because... I actually meant it. I didn't want to see him get hurt and I knew if he stayed with me he would. I braced myself to hear him break it off with me. I looked at him and he was smiling a small smile.

"Jen," he sighed, "I don't think you'll do any of those things if you're with me," I tried to tell him I would but he waved away my words, "maybe you've done those things in the past, to guys you didn't really give a hang about-I'm guessing-but you won't be like that with me because I can tell already that you don't want to. You wouldn't do something you didn't want to do so I think we'll be fine." He grinned at me again, and I couldn't help but smile back, even though I didn't believe him.

"I think your wrong, are you sure you don't want to end this now? You know... before it's too late," I asked him. Cheating and lying and not caring was all I knew. I didn't know how to be in a 'healthy' relationship, heck, I didn't even know how to be in a relationship with only one guy at a time! It sounds bad, I know, but that's just what I'm used to and I don't really know if I can change.

"Your really serious aren't you?" He laughed, "your talking like we are destined to fail, but we aren't, I think we'll be fine, so don't worry about it because I don't want to break up... you don't want to break up, do you?" He asked, suddenly serious. This was it. The moment of truth. I could say yes and save Soda the heartache and me the trouble, or I could stay with him and give it a try. Before I even knew what I said I answered.

"No. I don't want to break up. Not at all." He smiled again and I felt something in me flutter. I loved seeing him so happy.

"Well then, I have to get back to work, how was Dal this morning? Is he calmer or should I wait for tomorrow before I talk to him?" He asked, standing up and kissing me on the forehead. That small kiss made me blush and smile even wider.

"He should be okay today, I talked to him, not about you, but about guys in general and I think he's going to cool it a little," I answered him. I hoped Dallas had calmed down, I hoped he wouldn't flip on Soda. I would feel like crap if Sodapop got his face kicked in because of me, we all know Dally has a temper.

I hung around with Soda and Steve for a while but got bored when they both had to work on some cars and said good-bye. I figured I'd walk over to the Darry's to see what the rest of the guys were up to. I hung out with Johnny, Two-Bit and Ponyboy most of the afternoon. We didn't do much, we walked around a little bit but mostly just relaxed at the Curtis house. It was a good time though. I had never hung around with people who were so nice. Most the guys I spent time with in New York were either mean or just looking for one thing. It was nice to be around guys that didn't harass me. Two-Bit flirted with me the whole time, but I didn't mind. He wasn't rude, he was mostly just funny, plus I liked the attention. I always liked to have attention on me.

* * *

The next day, I woke up and found Soda and Dally talking in the kitchen. Dally didn't look too happy, but Soda was doing a pretty good job of keeping him calm. It was hard to get upset at Soda anyways. I decided I would take a shower to give them some more time. When I got out Dally was in his room and Soda was waiting in the kitchen. I went in to talk to him still in just my towel. He looked at me and his eyes got wider. I giggled at that and bit my lip.

"So... how'd it go? Is everything alright?" I asked quietly. He gave me a small smile and glanced behind me before taking a step closer.

"Yeah, he's a little uncomfortable but he did admit he would rather have you with me than some sleaze-ball or junky greaser," he took another step closer so he was standing right in front of me now, close enough for me to smell his cologne. "So I was wondering, I mean now that I have permission and all-" I giggled at that, "-if you wanted to come to a movie with me tonight?" he asked. I smiled really wide. I hadn't been on a real date in so long. Usually it's just parties and hook-ups.

"I'd love to!" I blushed a little at how over-excited I sounded. He just laughed and leaned down to peck me on the lips. The moment his lips touched mine I felt lighter. I put my hand on his chest and leaned in a bit closer to deepen the kiss a little. He pulled back after a moment and looked at me, I blushed again. I've never blushed so much in my life, but something about him just made me feel different. Then I remembered I still had his jacket in my room. "Wait here a minute, I got your jacket, I'll be right back," I said and turned to walk away. As I did I walked slower and wiggled my butt a little so he could see it move under my small towel. So what if I'm a bit of a tease, I couldn't help it. I came back still in my towel and his jacket in hand. I gave it to him and told him I was going to get ready and I would probably stop by his place after I grab something to eat so I could say hi to the guys. He gave me a quick good-bye kiss and headed out.

I got dressed and did my make-up-not too much though, I never got into the whole look of covering your face with gunk until you could no longer see your real features. I figured if I ever had to resort to that to feel pretty I must be pretty ugly. I didn't dress too slutty either, unless I was going to a party. But for being out during the day I wore decent clothes-mid thigh skirts or jeans and shirts that didn't show my belly. I didn't mind showing some cleavage though, my girls need to breath. Dally took me out to eat again and afterwards we went to find me a futon. I guess he was tired of sleeping on the floor. We found a nice one at a reasonable price. Dally didn't seem to have too much trouble with money, I guess he got most of it riding for Buck. He had told me a couple days ago if I ever needed money I could ask him as long as it wasn't for something stupid.

We went over to the Curtis house afterwards and everyone was there with the exception of Darry, who had to work. I sat on the couch flirting and giggling with Soda most of the time. Dallas kept glancing over at us though, which made it kind of awkward. Kind of like someone reading over your shoulder. Two-Bit was also watching us, between jokes and wrestling he would look over once in a while, of course I knew he liked me, but he and Soda were friends and he wouldn't make a move if Soda told him not to. I talked to Johnny a bit too. I really liked Johnny. He was a cute kid and he listened to what you were saying. You could tell he cared about the people around him, and he had a look that just made you want to make sure nothing ever happened to him. After only knowing him a couple days I felt like he was my little brother or something.

**Author's Note:**  
**Kind of slow chapter but I promise the next one will be better! Reveiw pleaseeee !**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

At eight me and Soda decided to leave and go see what was playing at the Nightly Double. Dally told me to be home by eleven, which I didn't like. I didn't talk back though, it wasn't worth my time. I would come home whenever I wanted and he couldn't control that. I just nodded and left with Soda right behind me. It was a really nice date. He was really sweet. He took care of me, paid for everything, put his arm around me and made me feel safe. It was nice to have someone respect me, I didn't get much of that usually. We laughed a lot, and stayed for a second movie. Afterwards he told me he should take me home but I told him I didn't want to go yet, so we walked to the lot. We sat by the water fountain and talked for a while. He was really easy to talk to, I liked that about him. We ended up making out a little bit. He was laying on top of me, his tounge in my mouth and his hand on the small of my back-he didn't reach for more, and I liked that; I had never made out with a guy who didn't try anything before. After a while of talking and kissing he checked the time. It was almost 1:00 am. He gasped and started to freak out a little bit.

"Dally's going to kill me! Shit, shit, shit!" He grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet.

"Don't worry about him, I'll deal with him," I didn't see why he was so worried, Dally could be over-protective, but he trusted Soda, and he certainly wasn't a guy who was going to enforce a curfew. I mean, this is Dallas Winston, he hated rules!

"Come on Jenny, he's going to flip! I have to get you home," He said, lacing his fingers through mine. I smiled and went with him, I was taking my time though. I wasn't scared of Dally and I wasn't going to let him try to tell me what to do. When we got to the house Soda looked really nervous. I turned him towards me and smiled at him.

"Hey, don't worry Soda, he's probably asleep and won't notice anyways," I told him, but he didn't look like he believed me. I hated seeing him worry like this. I gave him a quick kiss and headed inside. He kissed me back and smiled as he turned to walk home.

When I got in the house it was really dark. I went upstairs to get ready for bed. Dally was asleep, as I thought he would be, so I grabbed my pjs and headed to the bathroom to change and wipe off my make up. I was about to crawl onto my futon when he woke up.

"oh, look who showed up," he said as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. He didn't sound to happy.

"Yeah I just got in," I began to tell him but he cut me off.

"It's one in the morning! I said eleven! your two hours late! where the fuck were you!" He screamed at me. That was unexpected, was he really yelling at me for being late?

"I was with Soda! You know that! You have no right to tell me how long I can be out! I've taken care of myself for years now and I don't need you to tell me what to do!" I yelled back. That was a mistake. It didn't sound to good to him taht I was out with a guy-even if it was Soda-until one in the morning.

"DON'T FUCKING YELL AT ME! I'm not okay with this! I'm gonna go kick his ass for having you out so late!" He screamed. He was really fuming now, but I wasn't about to let him go take this out on Soda. This was between me and him.

"You won't touch Soda! I'm finally with a guy who's actually good for me and you're going to screw it up! You have no right to yell at me! I DID NOTHING WRONG!"

"YOU CAME HOME TWO HOURS LATE! YOUR OUT FUCKING AROUND ON THE FIRST DATE LIKE SOME WHORE AND YOU'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG!" His eyes were balzing but I wasn't going to back down. He just called me a whore! I didn't even do anything!

"FUCK YOU DALLY! You're acting like you can control my life! You can't tell me what to do!" I screamed and tried to storm out, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

"I'm your brother and as long as you're living with me you'll do as I say!" He screamed. Jeez he sounded like a dad or something.

"Fine!" I yelled, if I can't do what I want living with him, I would go live somewhere else. I shook out of his grip and stormed out.

I was walking off down the street. I figured I'd crash at Soda's, they said the other guys usually do so their door is always unlocked. I was about halfway there when I saw a car pull up beside me. Two guys got out. I could tell they were socs and that they were drunk. Good, I needed to blow off some steam right now. They were smiling wicked smiles at me.

"Hey, greser whore, we're looking for some fun," one said to me. Neither of them looked too big, and the fact that they were intoxicated was going to make this so much easier. I grabbed a bottle off the ground and broke it against the fence then smiled back at them.

"Come get it then!" I said. The guy on the left pounced at me and I deked. I punched him hard in the jaw and kneed him in the stomach. The other guy tried to jump in, so I turned and cut his stomach with the bottle. Both were bent over holding their stomachs. I grabbed the first one's hair and turned his head so I could throw a hard punch to his jaw, knocking him to the ground. The other guy was really mad by now. He grabbed me and threw me into the fence and punched me in the face. I kicked him where I had cut him before and he took a step back. I started punching him in the face until he and the other guy managed to get free and run. They hopped back in their car and drove off. I stood in the street laughing. No one messes with me.

I was standing there, feeling relaxed and much better when I noticed a boy standing across the street. He started to come over to me, slowly, and I couldn't see who he was in the darkness.

"Jenny?" He asked, surprised.

"Hey Two-Bit," I replied, realizing who it was. I grinned at his expression. His jaw had dropped as he stared at me.

"Holy shit!" He exclaimed and I laughed. "What was that!"

"They started it," I gushed, as if I were all innocent. He laughed and put his arm around my shoulders.

"You really are pretty tough, huh?" He aked me, still a little surprised at what I could do.

"I'm a Winston, ain't I?" I laughed. They all thought Dally was just so tough and scary. We started walking towards the Curtis' house. He still had his arm around me, I could smell alcohol and his cologne. He was warm though, and I hadn't noticed it before but I was freezing, so I didn't move him off me. "So what you doing out here anyways?" I asked, just making conversation.

"I was headed over to Darry's to crash there, I'm pretty drunk and I don't want to wake my mom, she has to work in the morning... I tend to be loud when I'm drunk," He explained, struggling with a few words. I laughed at him.

"Two-Bit, you tend to be loud all the time!" I teased and he laughed then gave me a little push.

"What about you? What you doing out wandering the streets at this time?" He asked, pulling me back into him. I think he was liking having me so close a bit too much, but I also thought if I weren't there he might stumble and fall over. He was pretty drunk, but it wasn't a scary drunk like I was used to, he was a friendly drunk, laughing and grinning just as much as he did when he was sober.

"I got in a bit of a fight with Dally and stormed out, I was pretty pissed, but those socs helped me out with that," we both laughed.

"Wow, I know to stay outta your way when your mad!" He teased me. "So what were y'all fighting about?"

"I came home later then when he asked me to, and he got pissed, then when he started yelling I started yelling and things just kind of escelated," I told him, he didn't need details.

"I never would have pictured Dally like that... you know, rule enforcer. It just doesn't fit him. I mean, its Dallas Winston! I never would have thought of him as the protective older brother type either. Huh. I guess I was wrong about that," He thought outloud. I don't know if he knew he was speaking out loud so I just stayed quiet. We came to Soda's street and turned the corner. I could tell something was on Two-Bit's mind but I decided not to ask. I was pretty tired and couldn't wait to get to sleep. As we got in the house I called couch and Two-Bit went to grab us each a blanket from the closet. He came back and layed on the floor next to the couch I was already on.

"Hey Jenny?" He asked me before I could fall asleep.

"Yeah Two-Bit?" I replied in a really sleepy voice.

"How did your date with Soda go?" He tried to make it sound casual, but I could tell he really wanted to know. I had told him I came back later then Dally asked me to.

"It was real nice, I haven't been on a real date in a while so I really liked it," I smiled thinking back at earlier tonight. Two-Bit just sighed quietly and said good-night. I said good-night back and was asleep a second later.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Hey Thanks To anyone who reviewed! I really like hearing from you guys and knowing what you think! please keep reveiwing! I will try to update as soon as I can! :D**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

I woke up to Darry cooking in the kitchen. It smelled really good, like bacon. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Two-Bit was already awake and eating. Darry smiled and said good morning to me. I smiled back. Soda came down the stairs in just jeans. He looked so good. I kind of followed him with my eyes until he noticed and smiled at me, I blushed.

"Hey, sleepy," He said to me. Ponyboy came down the stairs holding Soda's shirt.

"Soda, I found it!" He said handing it to him, he slid it on and I sighed. Well, so much for that. "Hey Jenny, what you doing here?" He asked, a little surprised to see me. Everyone except Two-Bit looked to me for my reply.

"Me and Dal got into a fight and I stormed out," I answered, they all still looked at me questionably.

"Did... did he... uh," Soda looked really upset, "did he hit you?" He asked me.

"What? No! Of course not!" I said, as they all breathed a sigh of relief. Did they all think he had?

"What happened to your eye then?" Soda asked me. Oh right, it's probably pretty bruised by now.

"I got jumped on my way over here," I told them. They all stopped again to look at me.

"What?" Darry asked from the kitchen, "are you alright?"

"Yeah I-" I started, but Two-Bit cut in.

"You should've seen her! These two socs get out of their car asking for trouble, and I was about to run over there when she broke a bottle and just started beating on them! You should've seen them run from her! She really kicked the crap out of them! The dirty..." He went on to curse them. I liked him bragging for me, it made me feel tuff. The Curtis boys looked over at me surprised; I just shrugged and got up to get something to eat.

I spent the day with them and stayed the next night there too. I didn't really feel like going to see Dally but I figured I couldn't mooch off Soda forever. I walked back over to Bucks and took a look at the house. I wasn't going in there to apologize, or even talk. I didn't like doing those things and I hoped Dally didn't either. I was simply going back to tell him I would still live there if he wanted me to. I walked in.

Dally was sitting at the counter when I got in. He looked at me for a minute, gave me a slight nod hello and went back to what he was doing. Good, that was easy. I went upstairs to get changed. I got into the little room and started going through my drawer looking for what I wanted to wear. When I looked up Dally was standing in the doorway. Oh crap, I knew it couldn't be that easy. Did I have to talk about it now or something? I sure wasn't going to back down. I would still tell him he couldn't tell me what to do and we would just fight again.

"The other guy who was crashing here took off," he said. I had seen the guy around, not often though, not enough for Dally to introduce me. "Buck says he'll be gone a while, at least a couple years... said you can have his room if you want it." I smiled. So he wasn't going to make me talk over our argument, I liked that.

"Great," I said, starting to pack up my stuff. Dally offered to help move my little futon in there and move the other guy's bed out... he said he recommended I don't sleep in that bed. I laughed and moved the rest of my stuff.

The room was a little smaller than Dally's and a lot messier. I spent that whole day cleaning it up, and after hours of scrubbing it looked good enough for me to live in. I wasn't too picky with it, I would only be in there to sleep and get ready, so as long as it didn't smell I was good.

The next month or so went by smoothly. I spent most of my time hanging out with the guys. Me and Dally fought a lot, but that could be expected with our tempers. I didn't storm out often because I had my own room I could storm to. He still tried to control a few things I did, especially when it came to Soda, and that was the reason for most of our fights. But he was really easy to make up with because it didn't involve any apologizing or talking, instead it was just a quiet understanding of peace. I liked that about him, he was a lot like me so we understood each other really well. I was jumped once more, and when I whipped their asses it got around town that Dally's sister was just as rough as him. I liked that I had a bit of a reputation.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**It's a bit of a short chapter, but I originally had it as one really long one and had to split it in two. I should update the next one later tonight. Big thanks to everyone who Reviewed! I absolutely love hearing what you think! I'll keep updating even if I don't get many reviews because I love to write, but I hope you'll review because this is my first Fanfic and it feels really good to know people are reading it :D**


	11. Chapter 11

**So, I'm going to have to say the rating on this chapter is just a little higher then the rest of the story. It's a big Soda/Jenny chapter. I put little squiggly lines at one part to indicate its the higher rated part. It's not that bad, but if you're under 15 or have a parent reading over your shoulder or your just really sheltered you may want to skip it. :) Anyways, hope your liking the story! reviews please! :)**

* * *

Chapter Eleven

I was still dating Sodapop, and it was going really well. I liked that I could talk to him about anything. We laughed a lot when we were together and he understood me. I had never felt so strongly for anyone before. One night, after we had been dating for a while, he took me out to this hill and you could see half the city from up there. It was really nice, we sat under a big tree and just lay there for a while.

"Soda?" I asked him.

"Yeah, baby?"

"Do you ever wonder what life would be like if money didn't matter?" I had been thinking about it for a while, and wanted to know what he thought. "I mean like, if there were no socs or greasers or hoods or anything, like if everyone could talk and hang out and stuff?"

"I think it would be really nice, like, calmer? You know, you wouldn't have to watch your back or worry about stuff," he replied and I sighed happily. He put his finger under my chin and kissed me. I pressed myself closer so it wouldn't end too soon. When we finally broke apart, I lay my head back on his chest.

"Hey Soda?" I wanted to ask him, it was an awkward question but it's always good to know and I was kind of curious, "how many girls have you... uh... been with?" He paused a second and I pulled away to look at him. He looked kind of nervous. "I promise I won't judge, I was just kind of wondering..."

"Okay, don't judge though," he sighed, oh great... It's going to be a lot isn't it? "Just one." Whoa, I didn't expect that.

"Really?" I asked in surprise.

"You said you wouldn't judge," he mumbled.

"No, I'm not, I think that's great actually, I'm just surprised is all. Um... who?" I had to ask, I probably didn't know her anyways but curiosity got to me. He looked down at me with a little smile.

"You're asking an awful lot of questions aren't you?" He teased me. I pushed him and laughed but still looked at him for an answer. He sighed, "Sandy."

"Oh." He had told me about her before. The first girl he ever loved, he wanted to marry her he loved her so much. Then one day she just up and left. She broke his heart without a second thought. I hated her for that, for hurting him.

"Your turn! He said, what's your magic number?" He asked grinning at me. I blushed, oh crap. Mines going to sound so bad compared to his one.

"I don't want to tell." I said.

"You have to! That isn't fair!" He said, still grinning his big happy grin. "Come on Jenny! You made me answer all the awkward questions!" I sighed and started counting in my head. Five, no wait. I forgot something, I counted again and sighed.

"Seven." I turned away when I said it. I wasn't normally embarrassed by my experience but Soda made me feel like I should be a better person. Soda made me feel like I was a better person. That's why I hated it when my past came into our conversations. He was just looking at me. I tried to think of what I could say to make it sound better. "Two were uh... uninvited though." His eyes widened.

"What? You were... You were..." He stuttered, afraid to ask.

"Yeah," I said, looking down. I had never told anyone about that before, I was kind of embarrassed about it.

"Oh my God, are you alright?" He asked putting his arms around me. I laughed out loud. This had happened years ago. I had gotten over it and healed and moved on and here he was asking if I was okay. It was like having someone look at a scar you got from falling when you were a kid and asking if you were alright. He looked at me worriedly.

"Don't worry Soda, I'm okay, it happened a long time ago and I also got over it a long time ago," I said smiling at him. He still looked worried, but lightened up a bit.

We lay together a little while and just talked about everything. I felt so happy just being near him. I turned and kissed him. It started soft and grew passionate. He rolled me over and lay on top of me. His one hand was around my waist, the other playing with my hair. I felt him against my leg and moaned a little bit.

"Soda..." I gasped, "I... I want to...' I moaned again and he got what I was asking. He pulled back to look at me.

"You sure?" He asked, looking me in the eye. I nodded and bit my lip. He kissed me again and clothes started to come off. He held me really close the whole time.

He drove me back home afterwards. It was really late, and I didn't want to move out of his arms, but I knew we had to go home. Dally was going to flip out. I didn't care, it was defiantly worth it. When I got home a kissed him goodbye and went inside still smiling. Dally was asleep, luckily, so I just went upstairs and went to bed thinking about Soda.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note:**

**Hey Guys! So this is a longer chapter, but I really wanted to tell Jenny AND Soda's view of it. This is my first Soda POV so let me know how I did! I think I defiantly want to do some more Soda POV in the future, but the main one is Jenny's. Anyways, I hope you like it! :D Please Review!**

* * *

Chapter Twelve

The next day I woke up around 12:30 extremely happy. I showered and got dressed and ready for the day. I was on my way out the door when Dally stopped me.

"What time you get in last night?" He asked from the other room.

"Uh... I don't really know, it wasn't that late, you were asleep though." I said, trying to brush him off.

"Well I went to sleep around 3 am," he said as he came into the room, "why were you out so late?" He was acting calm but I could tell he was upset. I really didn't feel like fighting today, I was not going to let him wreak my happy mood.

"I was out with Soda," I couldn't help but smile when I said it. He looked at me funny. Then he narrowed his eyes.

"You know not to be out that late! You never listen! What the hell were you doing out so fucking late!" He started to yell. I just stared at him in response. I wasn't going to yell back at him, I might say something I would regret. Turns out, I didn't have to say it, he figured it out anyways. I don't know how he knew, I'm not an easy person to read, but he did. His eyes blazed and he clenched his fists. "I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!" He screamed and ran out the door. Shit.

I chased him all the way to Soda's. He burst in the door and before I even had time to yell a heads up he grabbed Soda by the shirt and knocked him to the ground. I screamed and Soda just looked up from the floor stunned.

"REALLY?" He screamed at Soda, "WITH MY BABY SISTER! SHE'S ONLY 17!" He was so mad he was shaking. Soda looked terrified, he just shook his head slowly, not knowing what to say. Dally grabbed him by the collar and yanked him up, hitting him again. Soda hit the wall and I saw blood. I finally broke out of my haze.

"STOP! DALLAS STOP IT!" I screamed as he hit Soda again and Soda fell again. Dally got on top of him and I saw his hand come up and took my chance. I grabbed Dally's arm before he could get in another hit and tried to pull him back. It didn't work very well but it gave Soda enough time to crawl away from Dally. Dally wasn't fazed at all, he just got up and glared at Soda again.

"SHE'S 17!" He repeated, "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO HER! YOU LITTLE FUCKER! HOW COULD YOU TAKE THAT FROM HER!" He charged at Soda again. Soda moved just in time. Dally hit the wall hard enough to put a hole in it, but it didn't look like it hurt him, only made him madder. That's when what he had just said hit me. He thought I was still a virgin. He had no idea. I grabbed Soda and pulled him behind me. I stood up and looked Dally right in the eye. I wasn't scared of him. I was scared for Soda but I wasn't scared of Dally, no matter how infuriated he looked.

"HE DIDN'T TAKE ANYTHING FROM ME!" I yelled at him. He stopped. His eyes were still burning but he stopped dead in his tracks. I looked around the room. Steve and Johnny were on the couch, watching the whole thing go down, while Darry stood in the doorway. Why hadn't one of them stepped in? Why was in me who had to get Dally off Soda? I get that Steve and Johnny didn't jump in, I mean, Dally was probably scaring the crap out of them. But Darry could easily take him. Why did Darry just stand back and let Dally beat on his little brother? I looked back to Dally.

"What?" He demanded. He was still furious and his voice shook with rage when he asked me, but he wasn't yelling anymore. I took that as a good sign and lowered my voice too.

"He didn't take anything from me." I stated, I didn't shrink back or show any sign of backing down, I just lowered my voice to keep him from working himself back up. He just stared at me for what seemed like forever. Then he stormed out the door, knocking Soda over on his way out.

We were really quiet for a while. I was embarrassed to have Steve, Johnny and Darry know so much about me, and we were all kind of stunned at what had just happened. I took Soda into the kitchen and he sat on the table while I tried to bandage him up a little bit. The guys stayed in the living room, giving us some space for once. We were quiet for a while, other than him wincing from me gently pressing the gauze on his nose. He must have been mad at me, he just got his face beat in because of me.

"I'm... uh... I'm sorry," I said quietly. I don't apologize to people. I don't think I have told anyone I was sorry since I was a really little kid. But I couldn't stand Soda being mad at me, I hated seeing him all beat up, without his usual big grin. "I didn't tell him you know, he just kind of knew," I tried to explain.

"What are you apologizing for then?" He asked me gently. I looked up and met his eyes. He looked adoringly at me, his eyes were soft and I found myself lost in them. He leaned down slowly and pressed his lips to mine. My knees felt weak and I put my hand on his knee for support. He broke away and looked at me again.

"Jenny, I love you." It was barely a whisper, but it couldn't have sounded louder. My breath caught in my throat and my heart thudded. I couldn't move or speak or breathe. He loved me. Soda loved me. I was so happy I wanted to scream, or jump up and down or hug him or something, but I couldn't move so I just stood there. I don't remember if anyone had ever told me they loved me before, it felt so good.

Then my happiness stopped. I felt like someone had just thrown cold water on me. Did I have to say it back? I couldn't. I didn't want to hurt him, but I could hardly apologize to him for my brother beating the crap out of him over me, how could I possibly say it back? I wanted to, I felt it-I think, but I just couldn't say it, I couldn't. Finally he spoke.

"You don't have to say it back..." he whispered to me. How did he know I was thinking that? "...But I do love you." I breathed out. How long had I been holding my breath? I hadn't even realized I wasn't breathing. I looked at him for a long time then smiled and kissed him and hugged him, I didn't ever want to let go.  


* * *

SODA'S POV

Dally had come in raving mad. He had grabbed me before I could speak and hit me, hard. I hit the ground and turned around. I wondered how he had found out so quickly, I knew Jen didn't tell him, but I didn't have much time to wonder before he started yelling.

"WITH MY BABY SISTER! SHE'S 17!" His eyes were blazing they way they do when he was really mad. It scared the hell out of me. I had seen him knock a guy into a coma with his bare hands with that look in his eyes. I just shook my head. I knew Dally well enough to know that nothing I could say would make this any better.

He yanked me up and hit me again, I fell into the wall and felt a lot of pain. I thought about hitting him back for about half a second then deserted that idea. I didn't stand a chance against Dally when he was that mad. Besides, I just _did_ his little sister, he deserved to get a few good shots in.

"STOP! DALLAS STOP IT!" I heard Jenny yell. Was she crazy? She wasn't going to stop him. He hit me again in the nose and I fell to the ground again. I just hoped Jenny had the sense to stay out of it so she wouldn't get hurt. There was no controlling Dally's temper. I looked up at him on top of me, winding up his arm to hit me again, I winced. When he didn't hit me I opened my eyes to see Jenny holding his arm back with all her strength. I crawled away as quickly as I could and jumped to my feet ready to defend Jenny. But he didn't hit her, he just shook her off and turned back to me. He started yelling again, but I was too distracted by the pain in my head to hear him.

He swung to hit me and this time I moved. It was a reflex reaction, and I gasped when I saw the hole in the wall. Before I could do anything more I felt myself being tugged away. I was kind of dizzy, but I shook my head and realized Jenny was standing between me and Dally, glaring at him. What the hell was she doing? She was going to get hurt!

"HE DIDN'T TAKE ANYTHING FROM ME!" She yelled at Dally. What was she talking about? I was going to move to get her away from him but stopped when I saw Dally stop. He still looked just as mad but he stopped moving.

"What?" He asked her. Yeah, I was wondering that too, I thought to myself.

"He didn't take anything from me." She told him bravely. She wasn't shaking; she didn't look scared at all. She had spoken so calmly to him you would think it was just a normal conversation. Yet when she said it she also sounded strong. I admired her for her strength. Dally booked it out the door in a fit of rage, pushing me down on his way out. I sat on the floor for a second stunned, until Jenny took my hand and lead me to the kitchen.

I was sitting on the counter and she was helping clean my wounds. She was really gentle, even though it hurt when she touched my nose. It's probably broken. After a couple minutes my head started to clear up and I could think straight again. Jenny looked really sad, but still, so beautiful. Every time I looked at her I felt happier. Every time she touched me I felt my heart sink.

"I'm... uh... I'm sorry," she choked out. I could tell it was hard for her to say, I knew her pretty well and I knew she wasn't someone who easily expressed their feelings. She had a guilty look on her face, and I wondered why. "I didn't tell him you know, he just kind of knew," she told me. I knew she didn't tell him, why was she apologizing to me? I asked her and she just looked at me. She looked hurt, sad, lost, and... young. I leaned down and kissed her really lightly just because I couldn't help myself, I had to do something to make that look disappear. It hurt me to not see her with her head held high like it always was. I looked at her and she looked really happy, like my kiss had made everything better, I felt so connected to her I couldn't hold back any longer.

"Jenny, I love you." I whispered to her. I heard her loud gasp. At first I thought it was with joy, her eyes were dancing, and I tried my best to read her reaction but she didn't move. The only evidence was her eyes, they were twinkling. Suddenly, they stopped, was she upset? Had I scared her off? I didn't think so, I was pretty sure she felt the same way, but there was no telling with her. Then I realized she had probably never heard those words before in her life, she didn't know how to react. "You don't have to say it back, but I do love you." She let out a big breath. Good, I was starting to worry; she didn't breath for a good two minutes. She smiled at me and kissed me lightly and hugged me. She loved me, she didn't have to say it. I knew.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

I stayed at Soda's for a few nights. He stayed up late to talk to me and I was really happy there. After a couple days past, I couldn't keep borrowing Soda's clothes and decided to go get some of my own. I still wasn't ready to live under the same roof as Dally yet. I mean, he kicked the crap out of my boyfriend! He went too far. So I went over early in the morning, when I was sure he would be asleep. It was around 6 am and Darry offered to drive me over there and back before he went to work. We had decided it would not be a good idea for Soda to go anywhere near there, so Darry went with me instead. It was a really awkward car ride because I was still mad at him for not defending Soda the other day. We sat in silence the whole way there.

When I went in the house, Dally was nowhere in sight, as planned. I quickly packed up what I could. My toothbrush, a bunch of shirts, a couple skirts, some jeans and a bunch of underwear. I also threw a bunch of my make-up and my hair dryer in my little bag. I had to squeeze it all in to shut it, but I managed. I was headed out the door when Buck stopped me. What the hell was he doing up so early?

"Hey, Jenelle," I rolled my eyes, I told him not to call me my full name but it's not like he would listen. "Hey you seen Dallas around?" That caught my attention.

"He isn't here?" I asked him, surprised.

"Naw, he ain't been here for a few days, I was figurin' you would know where he's at 'cause you weren't 'round neither." He drawled. I couldn't stand Buck, he was really dumb and most the time drunk too, he reminded me of some real bad people I met in New York.

"Well I haven't seen him. Do you know where he would be?" I knew he wouldn't, but figured I would ask anyways.

"Nope. He probably ran off with some broad or got hisself arrested or somethin'," He said shrugging. I just looked at him and started to walk out the door. "Hold up, girly!" he called back to me, "where you been staying at?"

"Sodapop's house, why?" I asked, really just trying to get out of there, I was tired and didn't want to act civil to this drunken slob anymore.

"Well, I's just askin', you know if you need a place to stay you still gots a room here," He offered. That surprised me. I turned to look at him; I raised my eyebrows at him. Was he trying something? He knew I was Dally's sister and Dal would whip his ass if he found out Buck was trying something on me. He noticed my questioning look, "jus' 'cause you're Dallas' sister an' all, I ain't gonna leave you out in the street or nothin'."

Huh, he still sounded a little suspicious to me, but then again, maybe he isn't such a bad guy. I thanked him and left. He was either nicer than I thought, or stupider than I thought.

I got back into Darry's car without words. He looked over at me.

"How'd it go?" He asked.

"Fine." I replied stiffly. He sighed and looked back at the road.

"You mad at me or something?" He asked after a couple minutes of silence. I didn't reply. "Look, if you're mad at me just tell me what I did and we can talk this over," he offered kindly. I knew he was trying to be nice, but I didn't like talking about feelings. He sighed again when he realized I wasn't going to talk. "You're acting like a child. You're just going to hold a grudge against me forever without telling me what's up?" He hadn't raised his voice, or even sounded mad, but his tone was too condescending for me to like it.

"Don't talk to me like I'm a kid! I'm fucking old enough to do and say what I want so shut your mouth!" I snapped at him. He just looked at me. The way he looked at me was like he was disappointed in me or something. I didn't like it, and after a little while I sighed and looked back over at him.

"The other day, when Dally was going off on Soda, he was beating on him pretty hard. He broke his nose! I get why Steve and Johnny didn't stand up, but you were right there! You were right there and you just let him beat on Soda! And I had to be the one to step in." I took a deep breath. "Why didn't you just grab him and throw him out of your house? We both know you could've." He looked at me in surprise.

"Jenny, I'm a guy, and a big brother. I do my best to protect my brothers, and when one of them gets jumped by the socs or something, I just want to go out there and find the bastard who did it and beat him black and blue. I can only imagine how Dallas feels having a sister to protect. When he found out about you and Soda he was pissed, and I figured I would let him get in a few punches. Because that's the way guys are. I wasn't going to let him go too far though. I bet you if you ask Soda, he'll tell you the exact same thing as me for his reason why he didn't hit Dally back." He explained. I thought about that for a second, and realized it actually made a lot of sense. I hated admitting I was wrong, so I didn't, I just looked at him and smiled and gave a slight nod. He was nice enough to accept that as my apology.

* * *

A week passed and I was still living on Soda's couch. He would stay up with me sometimes or sleep on the couch with me. I didn't want to share the bed with him and Pony because it would be too crowded. Johnny slept over a lot too, and I liked having people around me that cared about me. Then Dally came back.

I was sitting outside on the porch when he came walking up to the house. At first I didn't think it was him, but he got closer and I knew it was. He came up and sat down beside me. I didn't move, or even acknowledge that he was there.

"I skipped town for a little bit. Had to get away, you know?" He said. I didn't reply, I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't care that he left, I cared that he kicked the crap out of Soda before he did. He rubbed his eye, looking stressed, and glanced at me. "You still mad at me then?" I looked at him like he was stupid. He rolled his eyes, "What do you want me to say huh?" He asked me, I could see he was getting frustrated.

"I want you to let me be happy with Soda and leave him alone and stop acting like he's no good for me because he is. _I'm_ the one who's not good for _him_." I told him, trying to give him some perspective on the whole situation. To my surprise he didn't yell at me.

"Alright, I'll lighten up," he said, looking away.

"I've heard that before," I said, and I had, many times, but he never did.

"I mean it this time, I'll cool it. I cleared my head while I was away and I'll try to relax a bit." I looked at him when he said this. He looked sincere, so I decided I'd forgive him. I gave him one of my smokes and we sat outside a while, talking. He told me a little about his trip and I told him about staying at Soda's. I also mentioned to him about Buck, and how he was offering to put me up. "Yeah, I know Buck looks mean, he acts mean a lot too, but if you get on his good side he's a wus," was his reply.

"I'm on his good side?" I asked, surprised, I hardly ever said anything to the guy.

"You're my sister." He told me. I laughed a bit, then noticed his ring was missing off his finger.

"Someone steal your ring or something Dal?" I asked him.

"No, I'm back with my girl Sylvia," he said, taking a long drag on his smoke.

"You got a girl?" I asked, surprised, "How come I haven't heard about her until now?"

"Because she wasn't my girl until now," He replied with a smirk, but I could tell he had been with her before. "You want to meet her?"

"Sure," I smiled, "when?"

"Tonight?" He asked me.

"Sounds good to me," I replied. I wondered what she's like. What kind of girl was with Dallas Winston? She had to be tough. She wouldn't be able to handle my brother if she weren't. But would she be mean to? I was about to find out.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**It's a slower chapter, but I promise the next one will be better. What do you think of her meeting Sylvia? How do you think it'll turn out? Review and let me know how I'm doing! I got a long way to go with this story still :)**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

I brought all my stuff back to Buck's later that day. I kind of missed having Soda in the next room and Johnny sleeping on the chair next to me. I would also miss Darry cooking breakfast in the mornings. I liked my privacy too though, so I was glad to be back in my own room. After I unpacked I went downstairs to find Dally. I went into the kitchen and saw him standing with a girl.

She looked grimy. Not just a little bit grimy, a lot grimy. She had black hair that came down to her elbows. Her make-up was caked on her face so badly I could hardly see any of her features except small bags under her eyes. She was wearing skimpy clothing; a very tight black skirt that just managed to cover her ass, and a tank top that showed half her stomach and a lot of cleavage. She was smoking and turned to look at me when I walked in the room.

"Who the fuck's that?" She asked Dally. I just looked at her, so she had yet to impress me, but I didn't judge her. I used to wear clothes like that back in New York sometimes, so I couldn't judge her there. I never went for the covering myself in make-up look, but back in NY I had friends who did. I saw no reason not to like her, yet.

"Sylvia, this is Jenny, my sister." He answered her. She just gave a little snort and looked down at me.

"Since when do you got a sister?" She asked him. I was starting to get a little mad that I had been standing in the room for a while and she still talked about me to Dally like I wasn't there.

"She came over from New York a couple months ago," he replied, looking between the two of us. She just gave a little noise in response. I looked at her. What was her problem? I tried not to judge her so soon, for Dally sake, but it was too late. She was acting really stuck-up and she didn't even know me. I had done my best to keep an open mind about her from the first second I stepped in the kitchen but I knew I didn't like her. I took a deep breath and started to head out. "Wait, Jenny! You two want to come to the nightly double tonight with me? I'm going to ask the guys too." Dally suggested. I guess he couldn't tell the feeling in the room was cold. I figured this would be a good time to try to get him and Soda to be more civil though, so I agreed then headed over to Soda's.

Since the day when Dally beat the crap out of Soda, they hadn't exactly talked, or even looked at each other. Soda wasn't mad at Dal, but Dally still didn't like being around Soda after he knew what we were doing. I didn't need them to love each other or anything; I just didn't want them to wreck their friendship over me. I figured Dally obviously wanted me to like Sylvie, so if I was going to have to go to the movies with them, Soda would be there too.

* * *

That night, it was me, Dally, Sylvia, Soda, Johnny and Two-Bit who went to the movies. Things were going really well. Dally and Soda had some tension between them, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it might be. I guess Dally really was going to lighten up about the whole thing with me and Soda. I tried to be nice to Sylvia in return, but it was kind of hard, because she acted like she didn't care to everything I said. She was kind of acting like I was a little kid, pestering her. I thought about knocking her teeth in, but then I realized how Dally had been on his best behaviour towards Soda all night and decided to walk away.

About half way through the movie, Sylvia saw one of her friends at the concession stand and went over to talk to her. I hadn't even realized she was gone when I got up to go to the bathroom. I walked past where she was standing with some girl and heard them whispering.

"Who? Oh that," Sylvia said, "yeah she's Dallas' sister, I don't know, New York or something. Anyways she's annoying as hell and she's kind of a bitch." I heard her say about me. I snapped, she's calling _me_ a bitch? I haven't tried so hard to be nice in all my life, and she had the nerve to call me a bitch to some bimbo. I stomped over to her.

"What the fuck did you just call me?" I said, at reasonable volume, so Dally wouldn't hear. She seemed surprised at first, then gave me a dirty look but didn't say anything. "You got something to say why don't you say it to my face instead of whispering over here like a coward." She narrowed her eyes at me.

"I said you're a BITCH!" She spat at me. I smacked her as hard as I could across the face. No one calls me shit and gets away with it. She stumbled back and few steps, holding her hand to her face. Then I saw the rage rush through her as she stepped forward and punched me. I stumbled backwards just as she had. She could pack a hard punch, but it was nothing compared to mine. I swung at her hard and she hit the ground.

I jumped on top of her and started throwing punches, she did her best to cover her face, and she actually got a few shots in at me, but we both knew she didn't have a chance. Then I felt myself being pulled off her. I struggled to get free but he held my arms tight.

"Jenny stop." Dally said, shaking me. I didn't stop, I was too worked up. I was thrashing and trying to get out of his grip until I looked over at Sylvia, still on the ground, and then I stopped. She was bleeding a lot, and her face was messed up. I smiled to myself. That ought to teach her. "Can I let you go now?" Dally asked me. His hands were clenching mine together so hard it hurt.

"Yeah, I ain't going to hit her no more." I said looking at him. I guess he believed me because he let me go and went over to help Sylvia, who had rolled over to sit up. I looked at her with disgust. That's what she gets for calling me a bitch. "Call me a bitch, and I'll make you _my_ bitch!" I said to her, loud enough for the crowd that had appeared to hear me. It felt so good to say that. I felt powerful; it was like screaming 'I win.' I turned and walked away like I owned every step.

I was back in my seat, trying to watch the rest of the movie. No one was there, but I figured they would come back soon. I sat munching on Soda's popcorn when I heard a familiar voice.

"You really handed her ass to her, huh?" He said, I turned and smiled at him. "Can I sit down?"

"Sure Tim," I said, gesturing to the seat beside me. Tim Shepard sat down next to me and put his arm around me.

"So what you doing here by yourself? Do you just come to these things to kick the crap out of trash like that?" He laughed. Good, someone else agreed with me about her being trash.

"No, actually, I'm here with the guys, and Soda," I said shaking his arm off my shoulder. I probably shouldn't let him do that. He grinned at me and put his arm back, oh well, if he wanted to get his ass beat that was up to him.

"So why'd you beat her up, anyways?" He asked me. I knew that was coming.

"She called me a bitch." I told him.

"You did all that to her just because she called you a bitch?" He asked in surprise. I shrugged. Yeah, I had a temper; no I didn't care what he thought of that. He laughed, "I should've known it'd be something simple like that, your Dal's sister after all." He looked at me for a minute, "You know they're back together now?" He asked me about Dally and Sylvia.

"Yeah, I know, I came here kind of as a first meeting type of thing, you know? Like to get to know her and everything, Dally set it up." I told him, he laughed.

"That went well." He said sarcastically, I laughed too.

"I just don't know what he sees in her," I thought aloud. I saw Tim nod beside me.

"Yeah, I don't see it either, after she cheated on him last time he was in jail I don't know why he still took her back." He said.

"What? She cheated on him? With who?" I asked, suddenly upset I didn't get to hit her more.

"Uh..." He looked ashamed, "well... me, but I was pretty drunk." He said. Wow, I understand why he would look ashamed; anyone who even thinks about going near trash like that should be ashamed. I realized he was looking at me for what I would say next. Did he really think I cared the much what-or who-he did when he was drunk? I defiantly lost some respect for him for being with... that, but I didn't really care.

"Don't worry about it, we all do stupid shit we regret when were drunk." I told him smiling. He relaxed and sat back, taking a handful of popcorn.

"What the hell?" I looked up to see Soda looking down at us. I realized how bad this must look. Tim Shepard sitting next to me with his arm around me eating Soda's popcorn. I started to push Tim's arm off me when I froze. Dally had run over and was standing beside Soda.

"WHAT THE HELL?" the exact same thing Soda had said, except Dally was madder. "I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" he screamed at Tim, yanking him up by his collar. This was getting old. Was he going to beat up every guy who looked at me? I sighed and stood up calmly.

"Dally, calm you're shit. We're friends. Soda, I know that looked bad, but you know nothing is going on, so don't even worry about it. Tim and I are friends, that's all." I explained. I knew Soda would believe me; he loved me and trusted me, even more than I trusted myself, but Dally was different. There was nothing I could say that would make him not kick Tim's head in if he wanted to. Tim would have to fend for himself. I did try to shake his arm off me.

Dally hit Tim to the ground, and before he could take another swing Tim hit him in the side. This was going to be a pretty good fight. They took turns hitting each other for a while, until Tim ended up on the ground and Dally hit him hard enough to knock him out. I had a feeling they did this often, the both knew each other's weak sides and best moves.

Dally spun around to face me and glared at me. His eyes were still blazing.

"You come home early tonight! I got to talk to you!" He said sternly. I never thought I would hear those words come out of his mouth. Dally, talking? Obviously, I knew he meant yelling. He wasn't the type to talk things over in a calm manner. That's alright though, I wasn't either. He stormed off out of sight.

I hung out with Soda extra late, even though he was a little nervous about how Dally would feel about that. I purposefully made it a point to get back to Bucks even later than I usually do that night. I don't like being told what to do.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Thanks for all the reviews! I love hearing from you guys so keep reviewing! :)**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

I got in around 4:30 am. I closed the door behind me and scanned the room. Dally wasn't up. I went upstairs and started down the hallway, the coast was still clear. I was a few steps from my room when his door opened. I turned around to see him staring at me. He was really angry, he looked as angry as the day he beat up Soda. I straightened my shoulders and got ready for him to explode. Right on cue he yelled at me.

"WHAT THE HELL! DO YOU DO THIS JUST TO PISS ME OFF?" he fumed. 'Yeah actually, I kind of do,' I thought to myself. I just glared at him, which only made him angrier. "DAMMIT JEN! TIM SHEPARD? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH YOU?" I sighed at him. Did he not hear me at the movies? We're just friends.

"Jeez Dallas, I already told you we're just friends so calm down," I said calmly, rolling my eyes. His nostrils flared he was so angry; he hated it when I told him to calm down.

"BULLSHIT!" he screamed as loud as he could. He was calling me a whore. He was telling me he thought I was cheating on Soda. My chest heaved with rage but before I could say anything back he continued. "I KNOW TIM AND HE IS NOT 'JUST FRIENDS' WITH ANY GIRL! FUCK, JENNY! I FINALLY GET USED TO YOU AND SODAPOP AND NOW YOU'RE RUNNING AROUND WITH TIM! TIM? WHY THE FUCK DID IT HAVE TO BE TIM!"

"SHUT UP DALLY! I'M NOT RUNNING AROUND WITH TIM! I'M SICK OF YOU INSULTING ME! I'M SICK OF FIGHTING WITH YOU EVERY DAMN DAY! I'M SICK OF YOU!" I couldn't handle him anymore. His temper and attitude were as bad as mine and I couldn't handle it anymore. "I HATE THIS!" I yelled at him.

"IF YOU HATE IT HERE SO MUCH YOU SHOULD JUST GET THE FUCK OUT THEN!" he exploded at me. I took a few steps back as if he had slapped me. He was kicking me out. I snapped. I couldn't believe I came all the way from New York to see him, I was his only family and the only person who cared about him and he was throwing me out. That was it, I ran at him. I was punching at him in a fury. I hit his chest over and over again, getting my anger out. He grabbed my wrists and tried to hold me still. I wiggled to get free and twisted but he was too strong. He tugged on my wrists so I was looking him in the eye

"I HATE THIS! I HATE-" I stopped. I was about to scream 'I hate you' but I couldn't. I saw his face, and I couldn't say it. I didn't hate him, even when he was yelling at me, even when every fibre of my being wanted him out of my face I didn't hate him. He didn't hate me either, he loved me even if he couldn't admit it and I knew saying those words would crush him. He was my brother, my only family, and even though at the moment we were staring each other down with anger we loved each other. I sighed and turned my head away. He loosened his grip on my wrists when he realized I wasn't going to fight him anymore. That surprised us both. Of the many fights we had neither of us had backed down before. I pulled my arms completely out of his hands and walked into my room. He followed me and stood in the doorway and watched me.

I grabbed a bunch of clothes and put them in my bag. I grabbed all my stuff out of the bathroom and threw that in there too. I took my time to fold my shirts and pants. Finally, I picked up the bag and turned to face him.

"Okay." was all I said. It took a while for him to realize I was agreeing to leave. His eyes got wide and he stood completely still. I walked past him casually and went down the stairs. He watched me leave in shock. I was a little surprised too; I had never backed down before, or agreed to something that was being demanded of me. He didn't say anything as I closed the door behind me. I walked away without looking back.

* * *

When I got to Soda's I was completely exhausted. I walked in trying not to make any noise. I put my bag down beside the couch and saw Johnny sleeping there. I smiled at him. He looked so peaceful sleeping. I went and grabbed two blankets out of the closet. I laid one on Johnny (he must have been too tired to grab one) and brushed his hair back gently. As I looked at him I realized his life was so much harder than mine. I thought about how his parents beat him, I knew mine had done that too, but I was tough enough to take it. I was tough enough to get out. Johnny wasn't. That could be a good thing though. Sure it killed him to get cussed out or beaten up by his folks, but he responded by caring so much for everyone else. I had run away and gotten cold. I never let anyone in, I was not nice to people and I could handle a beating from my drunk dad. I put the other blanket on the floor and lay with half of it covering me. I wondered which way was better. Being hurt all the time but having everyone who knew you well love you-the way Johnny had the entire gang wrapped around his finger, even Dally-, or never getting hurt and never letting anyone close to you because they could hurt you. I didn't get to figure it out because I was soon asleep.

Too soon the light shone brightly from the window and I heard the homey noises of Darry cooking in the kitchen. I opened my eyes and squinted at the light. Johnny sat up to block the sun from my eyes.

"Morning," he said to me sleepily. I smiled at him. "You put this blanket on me last night?"

"Yeah," I said, stretching. He smiled back at me.

"Breakfast!" Darry screamed from the kitchen. Ponyboy came down the stairs first, followed by Soda. Me and Johnny got up to join them as Two-Bit and Steve came through the door. As I grabbed a piece of bacon Soda gave me a quick good morning kiss on the lips. I smiled at him and blushed a little. I knew he would be around for me to talk to later about staying here for a while, when we had more privacy. We all sat and ate, Two-Bit joking around and Soda and Steve having a little food fight, until Darry broke it up. I liked that we all ate together. I felt like a family or something.

After breakfast, Soda, Steve and Darry went off to work while Ponyboy and Johnny went to school. Two-Bit usually went too, he liked going to school to goof off and disturb the class but he decided to skip today. He told me he didn't want to leave me here by myself to get lonely. I argued with him, but there was no way I would win because with Two-Bit everything you say can become a joke and I honestly kind of wanted someone to stay with me so I wouldn't have any time with my thoughts.

We spent a few hours just laying around and talking. He had me laughing so hard my face hurt. I really needed that and was grateful he decided to stay home with me. Then I lay back on the couch and rested my eyes and the conversation started to get serious.

"So you and Dally have a fight last night?" He asked me. I sighed, I didn't want to think about it, or talk about it. I would have to tell Soda later when I explained how I would have to live with him. Soda had a way of getting people to talk to him.

"Yeah," I breathed, I was getting really tired; I only had a couple hours of sleep last night.

"About you beating the crap out of Sylvie?" he pried. I laughed, I had forgotten about that.

"No, about me and Tim Shepard," I said. Two-Bit jumped to his feet.

"What! You and Tim?" he asked surprised, then added, "what about Soda?"

"Relax Two-Bit, I'm just friends with him, I wouldn't cheat on Soda." I said, putting my arm over my eyes to block the sunlight. I heard him breathe a sigh of relief. I peeked out from under my arm and saw him looking at me suspiciously. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing, it's just that... well... I ain't never heard of Tim Shepard being 'just friends' with a girl," he explained. He sounded eerily like Dally did last night.

"Well we are, and Soda believes me and that's all that matters," I said, trying to end the conversation.

"I never said I don't believe you," he said holding his hands up, as if in surrender. I smiled lightly at him and closed my eyes again. "You look tired; you should go get some sleep."

"Yeah, I didn't sleep much last night, but you stayed home to hang with me and I'll feel bad if I just go to sleep." I told him.

"It's no problem, maybe I'll nap too," He suggested to make me feel better. I stood up and started to go upstairs, then turned to look at him.

"You aren't going to sleep on the couch in this bright room are you?" I asked him. I don't really know where I was headed with this, but I knew I still did not want to be alone with my thoughts yet. "Come upstairs with me," I said as casually as I could. He cocked an eyebrow and looked at me for a while. Then he smiled and followed me upstairs.

I went into Soda's room and closed the blinds. I lay down on he and Pony's bed and got under the covers. It smelled like Soda and I liked that. I patted the bed beside me for Two-Bit to lie down. He looked at me worriedly.

"We're just sleeping Two-Bit; I already said you know I wouldn't cheat on Soda." I told him. When he still didn't move I smiled and rolled over to look at the ceiling. "Suit yourself," I said, teasingly, "I didn't know you were so bashful." To that he crawled in beside me and turned me to face him.

"And I didn't know you were so forward. If you really wanted to get me in bed so badly all you had to do was ask, baby," he joked.

"I didn't think it would be that easy, to just ask. You need better morals." I laughed at him.

"My morals are fine, you're the one trying to steal my virtue," he said with a yawn. I yawned after him and laughed. I fell asleep within a few minutes.

When I woke up it was really hot. Two-Bit had his arm around me and I was really close to him. He was still asleep, so I lay still for a couple minutes trying not to wake him. Then I pushed myself backwards a little bit and slid out from under his arm. He moaned something in his sleep and rolled over. I got up and went downstairs. Just as I got to the bottom of the stairs Soda and Steve came in.

"Hey baby, how was your day?" Soda asked me, giving me a kiss on the forehead.

"I slept. All day." I said, grinning at him, "How was yours?"

"Meh, it was alright, same as usual," he said, strolling into the kitchen. I followed after him and Steve stayed in the living room to watch T.V.

Once we had some privacy he asked me about what happened with Dally and I explained to him to whole thing. I started at coming home and he didn't interrupt, he just listened, until I came to the part where I hit Dal.

"You attacked him!" he asked, shocked, "what did he do? Are you alright?" I understood by now why everyone seemed to be waiting for Dally to snap and hit me. That's just who Dally was to them. But he wasn't that to me, I knew he would never hit me. But, then again, I thought I would never hit Dally either.

"Nothing, he just grabbed my hands to stop me. Then I just packed up and came over here. So, uh... could I stay here for a while?" I asked. He looked a little surprised when I told him Dally's reaction, but quickly he composed himself.

"No problem, of course you can!" He told me. I smiled at him and hugged him. I knew money was tight at their house, so I promised to help out however I can with cleaning and cooking and I would make my own money so they don't always have to buy me food. He waved away the words and smiled down at me. He was so perfect. He leaned down and kissed me and I felt like everything was going to be alright.

**

* * *

Author's Note:**

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while. It's March Break! **** I have a lot of plans this week so I may not update as often, but I'll try to do a couple chapters. Thanks to all my reviewers! I love hearing from you! Please keep reviewing! **


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Living with Sodapop was amazing. I absolutely loved it there. Each morning Darrywould have breakfast ready for us, the guys were always around and Soda made every day a good one. While the boys went to work or school I cleaned the house up for them, I didn't mind, they let me into their home and it was the least I could do. I was never very good at cooking but after helping Darrymake dinner a few times I learned and eventually I was making dinner almost everyday because I was the only one who didn't have a job or homework. I looked for a job, but I never was the working type. I knew bills were tight, so I stole some groceries once in a while and whatever money I won playing poker I would give to Darry. I loved to see how much Soda, Darry and Ponyboy cared for each other. They really loved each other. Darry and Ponyboy fought sometimes, but in the end they would do anything for each other, I admired that. I kind of wished me and Dally could have that, but we were different.

Dally came over once in a while. He would stop by to hang out with the gang and see if any of them wanted to go to the movies or to a party. I didn't really talk to him. It was sort of awkward between us, so when he was over I would usually just go to a different room or just talk to Soda. To be completely honest, I kind of missed him. I was definitelyhappier where I was now, but everything was so emotional in this house. If something was bothering someone they would talk it over, and apologize and hug. I was not very good at all that personal stuff, and I found it kind of hard to be around. When I lived with Dally I had the comfort of keeping to myself if I wanted to.

It was Saturday night, date night. Soda had started taking me out every Saturday since I moved in with him. Sometimes we would double date with Steve and Evie, which was alright, but I perfered our privacy so most of the time we just went out to have some time to ourselves. I finished brushing out my hair and was just about ready to leave when Dallas came strolling through the front door. He gave me a quick glance then sat down next to Johnny on the couch. I turned away from him and yelled up the stairs for Soda to hurry up.

"I'll be right down!" he yelled, then came running down the stairs a few seconds later. He smiled at me and gave me a quick kiss, then looked around and realized Dally was here, "Oh, uh... hey Dal, what you doing here? Isn't Buck having a party?" he asked, trying to start a casual conversation. He and Dally hadn't been very close recently, as you can imagine. It bothered him a lot that his friend was being so cold to him recently, even though he and Dally hadn't been that close before. Soda just wasn't used to people not liking him.

Dallas just shrugged in reply and turned back to talk to Johnny. I threw Dally a dirty look but I don't think he saw it. Feeling the tension in the room, I grabbed Soda's hand and led him out the door. Once we were in the car and out of the driveway he looked over at me.

"You look really nice tonight," he complemented me. I smiled at him, but I could see the worry in his eye.

"Thanks," I replied politely, and after a couple minutes of silence I added quietly, "you know you can't let Dally get to you, he's not worth it."

He sighed "I know, I'm not upset that he's mad at me... well I am, a little, but I'm more concerned about the two of you." I gave him a confused look as we got out of the car and headed into the restaurant. It wasn't fancy, but it wasn't shabby either. It was a nice little place, we took a secluded booth in the back and orderedour drinks. We both only got waters because we could use the money on better things.

"What did you mean by 'you're concerned about me and Dally'," I asked him, continueing the conversation.

"Well it's just that I think you guys should talk, it's almost been a month and you two haven't even tried to make up," he told me.

"So, you don't get me and Dally. We don't make up. We're not like you and you're brothers, we aren't good at emotional things like you guys," I sighed and looked at my menu.

"I just think you guys should talk... or do whatever you guys do to make things better. How do you usually make up? I mean, you used to fight all the time and things were always better the next day." I looked at him when he said this, and I could see the concern in his eyes. I smiled at him, I liked that he cared so much.

"Well usually we wouldn't say anything about it, we would just go back to being civil towards each other when we were done being mad. But then we would get mad again two days later," I tried to explain, but I knew he wouldn't understand the way me and Dally lived. The waitress came and took our orders and menus. "Soda, I'm not going to talk to him. You know I'm not good at talking like that, and you know Dally isn't either. If he wants to talk he'll come talk to me, if not, then I'm not going to talk to him because if he doesn't want to talk he's not going to."

"You're really stubborn. Will you at least think about trying to patch things up with him?" He asked, pleadingly. Anyone else I would have told no, but I looked at Soda and just nodded so he would be happy. He grinned at me and I grinned back, even though I still had no intention of talking to Dally anytime soon.

"Can we talk about something else now please?" I asked as our food arrived. We talked about our week and gossiped about the things happening around town and told each other stories about things we had done or hoped to do. I loved going out with Soda, we never ran out of things to talk about. We connected so well and over the past month we had gotten so close that he wasn't just my boyfriend, but my best friend too. After dinner he drove us out to our spot on the hill, under the tree and he lay a blanket down for us to lie on. That place had unofficially become 'our spot.'

We got home really late and everyone was asleep. Johnny had claimed the couch so I took the floor. Before I went to sleep Soda and I both brushed our teeth and got into pajama's. I crawled under my blanket and was ready to go to sleep. Soda came over to me and kissed me on top of the head before heading to bed. "Night baby, love you," he whispered to me as he pushed my hair behind my ear.

"Night Soda," I smiled at him as he walked off to bed. I still hadn't told him I loved him. I still couldn't say it. I felt bad that I couldn't, but Soda understood me and he was patient.

* * *

The next day, I slept in. When I woke up it was noon, and I was amazed the guys had managed to stay quiet enough to let me sleep. I woke up and smiled at the guys in the kitchen. Soda, Ponyboy, Johnny and Two-Bit were there. I figured Steve was probably with Evie and Darry would be working as usual. I got up and went to join them.

"Hey! Look who's finally awake," Two-Bit announced as I walked in.

"Morning guys," I greeted them.

"Hun, morning was hours ago, I was starting to think you weren't ever getting up," Two-Bit teased.

"Morning babe," Soda replied, giving me a gentle kiss.

"What are you making?" I asked him, gesturing to the many ingredients on the table.

"Chocolate cake," he answered, pouring some flower into a bowl.

"Mmm, I've never made a cake before, you mind if I help?" I asked. He looked at me with surprise. They always had cake in thier house, but usually Darry made it at night when he realized they didn't have any left. I never really cooked very much before I had moved in with them, so I had never baked a cake.

"You've never made cake before?" Soda asked me, shocked. I just grinned and shrugged. Ponyboy and Johnny let Soda know they were going down to the lot and Two-Bit decided to go with them, so me and Soda were left to bake by ourselves.

Baking a cake with Sodapop is an experience I will always remember. We broke at least three eggs, made a total mess of everything and got flower everywhere. It was amazingly fun. I threw a pinch of flower at Soda for a joke and before I knew it, it was everywhere. I was laughing really hard when he grabbed me by my waist and pulled me into him. We kissed passionately and when we broke apart we were both breathing hard. His one hand touched my face-getting flower on my cheek-and his other hand was on my bum. I kissed him again, but this time we were interrupted by someone loudly clearing their throat. We turned to se Dally standing in the doorway.

Soda imediatly jumped back away from me but I just stood there and glared at him. I was still mad at him for kicking me out, but even more mad at him for not bothering to invite me to come back. He gave Soda an angry look then turned his attention to me. He looked mad at me for a second, then he lightened his expression a little bit. When I looked at him he suddenly looked sad, but I didn't understand why. He was the one who told me to leave anyways. I just did as I was told, for once.

"Where is everyone?" Dally asked, jamming his hands into his pockets. I turned away and let Soda answer him.

"Mostly down at the lot," he answered after a small pause. I bent over to clean up one of the eggs and heard Two-Bit snicker as they all walked back in, this time with Steve.

"What did I do now Two-Bit?" I asked as I realized he was snickering at me. He looked at Soda and the flower all over the place and laughed harder. "What?" I demanded.

"Nothing... it's just that you got a big white hand print on your ass," He said laughing. I twisted to see my own butt and sure enough there was a hand print made in flower. I blushed and looked at Soda, who was laughing a little bit. I headed to the bathroom to try to wash it off a the boys chatted and laughed. I managed to get most of it off but there was still a small outline of it. When I walked back to the kitchen Dally was gone and Ponyboy and Johnny were off doing their own thing again.

"You know, Darry's going to skin ya if you don't get rid of this mess," Steve pointed out the obvious. I sighed as I realized he was right. Soda and I spent the next hour trying to clean up everything. It wasn't too bad though, because Steve and Two-Bit were there to lighten things up.

When Darry got home the four of us sat together and had supper. I liked eating together. They made me feel like part of the family. Ponyboy talked about trying out for the track team and I encouraged him. He was so good at school and sports. I was never good at either of those things, I wasn't in school very long, and when I was I didn't get very good grades. I'm not dumb, I'm just not book smart.

After supper we all just hung around for a while. Ponyboy did some homework while Darry read the newspaper and Soda and I snuggled up on the couch. I felt so happy, surrounded by people who cared so much. I loved living with them and I hoped nothing would ever wreck that.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Hey Guys! So this is a slow chapter, but the next one is going to be really good :) I just wanted to kind of show how happy the Curtis house is for Jenny and how happy Soda makes her, in this chapter. Keep reviewing please! I really appreciate hearing from you ! :)**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

I had been living happily with Soda for almost two months. I still didn't talk to Dally, but life was going pretty good for me. That is, until one sunday afternoon when I went out to get the mail.

It was really nice out, and me and Soda were the only ones home. Ponyboy had went out with Johnny and Darry was working, as always. Soda was in the kitchen eating when I stepped out onto the porch in the sunlight. The sun hit my face and I smiled, taking a deep breath of air. I headed down to the mailbox in a pair of old shorts and Soda's t-shirt. As I walked back into the house and through the kitchen I noticed the yellow envelope at the back of the pile. It had 'Soda' written on it in really nice cursive writing. I handed him the letter as he sat at the table and threw the rest of the mail in front of him. He gave me a smile and tore the envelope open, I went to do the dishes.

I heard him make a small noise and turned to look at him. He expression went from confused to surprised, then angry, and finally he sat back and his eyes twinkled as he read it again. I looked at him curiously. I cleared my throat to get his attention, and his head jumped up to look at me as if he had forgotten I was there.

"Who's it from?" I asked him.

"Uh..." he paused, deciding whether he should tell me or not. He looked back at the note then after a minute back to me, "Sandy." I took a tep back. Sandy? The Sandy he was in love with? The Sandy who broke his heart? Why did he look so happy to be hearing from her? I stared at him and thought about what to say next.

"What... what did she say?" I asked cautiously. What could she possibly want?

"She said she's coming to town... she wants to see me," he told me, and his eyes twinkled again. I gulped down my fear of his answer to my next question.

"You're still in love with her aren't you?" I asked, with an unintended hint on anger in my voice. The question seemed to catch him by surprise and he just looked at me. When he didn't answer I threw the towel I was holding down on the table, "are you? Soda answer me!" He gulped and looked at me. Then he nodded once. I felt like someone had just stabbed me. I was shocked and stumbled back to sit in the chair behind me. I heard him saying something, but I wasn't listning. I was staring at the ground, trying to just keep breathing. Then the anger flushed through me.

"-Jenny, she was my first love! I can't help it!" My head snapped up at him. He was standing, looking at me pleadingly.

"YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER GIRL!" I screamed at him. He looked stunned by my sudden outburst, but I didn't care. How could he hurt me like this? My head swam and I stood up, filled with strength from my anger.

"I... I'm... I'm so sorry," he stuttered at me.

"YOU'RE SORRY!" I fumed, "YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER GIRL AND YOU'RE SORRY! BEING SORRY DOESN'T MAKE THINGS ANY BETTER!"

"Well what do you want me to do about it! huh?" he raised his voice, and I flipped out.

"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!" I yelled, throwing my arms up, "WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!" His eyes widened at my accusation.

"Why would I do this to YOU?" he asked, outraged, "I HAVN'T DONE SHIT TO YOU! I have been nothing but GOOD TO YOU! You're the one who's put me through shit!"

"ME? WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO YOU!" What was he talking about?

"I take care of you! I listen to you! I support you! I love you! And you don't do anything back! Oh, I know 'I'm no good at relationships, I'll hurt you'," he mocked, "I care about you and you can't even tell me you care about me! YOU WON'T EVEN TELL ME YOU LOVE ME!" he exploded. I gasped and stepped back. I had no idea he took that so hard. But that wasn't my fault! I told him before we ever got together I don't do relationships. And he knows how hard it is for me to say things like that! I glared at him.

"FUCK! SODA I DON'T DO THAT SHIT! YOU KNOW I'M NO GOOD AT THAT!" I yelled.

"YEAH! I KNOW THAT VERY WELL!" he exclaimed, trying to make me feel guilty.

"I TOLD YOU BEFORE! I WARNED YOU AND YOU STILL WANTED ME! YOU CAN'T BLAME ME FOR THIS!" Why was I suddenly the one being yelled at? He was the one in love with Sandy! "WHY AM I BEING YELLED AT HERE? DAMMIT!" I glared at him, "you know what! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE! BE WITH YOUR WHORE!" I yelled, and stormed out. Just before I got out the front door I heard him coming after me.

"SHE'S NOT A WHORE!" he screamed at me. He was defending her now? I stopped dead in my tracks. "SHE'S RESPECTABLE! WHICH IS MORE THAN I CAN SAY FOR YOU!" I spun around to face him.

SODA'S POV

Maybe I shouldn't have said that. But Sandy is not a whore! Sandy was my first love and I'm expected to just let that go?

"WHAT!" Jenny screamed. She was mad. Really mad. I could see her grinding her teeth. I have never seen her this mad before. It was kind of scary. But I held my ground, after every fight she had with Dally I was there for her and she had never even thanked me. She could never even tell me she loved me.

"Sandy is not a whore. WHAT ABOUT YOU AND TIM, HUH?" I yelled. She glared at me. I got her. I saw her and Tim snuggled up at the movies that night, and she said they were just friends. I thought she would never lie to me. I also thought she really loved me. But I guess I was wrong about that.

"TIM! I TOLD YOU WE'RE FRIENDS! YOU'RE REALLY FINDING ANY WAY TO MAKE THIS MY FAULT AREN'T YOU? I'M NOT GOING TO JUST STAND HERE WHILE YOU INSULT ME!" Then I met her eyes. They were burning with rage. I'd seen that look in Dally before. I'd seen Dally beat a guy into a coma with his bare hands and that look in his eyes. I took a step back.

"Maybe you should go then." I said, hurtfully. I didn't rais my voice, but I said it strongly. I heard her catch her breath in her throat, then with her eyes still blazing she turned and stormed out the door.

I went and sat back down at the table. I put my head in my hands. My head hurt really bad from all the screaming, and stress. I loved Jenny. I loved her so much, but she wa right when she told me she was bad for me. She was right when she said she would hurt me. She did hurt me, every time I said I love you and never heard it back. I loved Sandy too, I think. Sandy had hurt me too, but Sandy was good for me, she was gentle and caring. She was what I needed. I picked up the note again.

**Soda,**

**It's been a while, huh? I understand if you don't like hearing from me. I get it. What I did to you was so horrible. I beat myself up everyday for it. I love you though, I need you to know that. I really miss you too.**

**I'm coming to town in a week. I want to see you. I get it if you don't want to see me, I wouldn't want to see me either. Please consider meeting with me though, I really do miss you. I need you to know everything I told you before I left, how much I love you, how I don't want to lose you, that's all true. I am really sorry for everything. I never wanted to hurt you. I hope you'll give me a chance to talk to you in person.**

**I'll be staying at my parents, the number is the same. Please call me. If you don't I'll understand but please call me.**

**I love you. I miss you.**

**Sandy**

I sighed and went to put the note in my room and see if I could find her number.

* * *

JENNY'S POV

I stormed out into the street. Fuck him. He wants me out, I'm out. I ran off down the street looking for something to do. I found it making out with some guy in an allyway. In my rage I wandered around, going anywhere, when I turned a corner to see no other than Sylvia with her tounge down some guy's throat. I didn't bother to give her any warning, I walked up to her and pulled her off of him.

"You bitch!" she spat, before seeing who I was. Her eyes widened and I punched her in the nose. She fell over backwards and I laughed.

"Oh, my bad, was I interrupting?" I asked kindly. The guy turned to me and glared.

"Who the fuck are you?" he asked angrily.

"I'm her boyfriend's sister, ass-hole!" I said, and picked Sylvia up by her hair, only to knock her back again. She screamed and I hit her again and told her to shut up. The guy took off. I laughed, that was her choice of who to cheat on my brother with? She was a real smart one. I hit her again.

After beating her up pretty bad, I walked back out onto the street into the sunlight. I woman was walking by, so I stopped her.

"Hey, lady? There's some girl pretty beat up in that allyway... you might want to call an ambulance." I told her, the woman peeked around the corner and screamed at the knocked-out Sylvia. I just shrugged and walked off. I would kick the crap out of her, but I wasn't about to leave her there to bleed to death.

I wandered into a park and sat down. Now that most of my anger was out all I could feel was sad. I hated feeling sad. I started to think about Soda and everything that happened and had to start moving again. I wasn't going to just sit here and wollow myself into a depression.

I passed a liqour store and stopped. I went in a stole myself a couple things. Then I started drinking. No matter how much I had, it never felt any better so I decided to do more. Finally, hours after dark, I passed out in the lot and the pain was gone, momentairly.

I woke up and felt like crap. The bright sunlight burned my eyes and my head felt ready to explode. I stood up and immediatly fell to the ground and threw up. Great. So, where do I go from here? I was hungover and depressed and worthless. There was only one place to go. Only one person I wanted to see. I stumbled back onto my feet and headed down the street.

I knocked on the door and he answered and looked at me with slight surprise. I couldn't even give him a smile or a 'hello'. He looked me up and down then opened the door wider for me to come in. I stepped inside, saw him hesitated, then felt him put his arms around me.

"I want to come home now Dally." I whispered, hugging him back. I felt Dallas nod his head then he let me go.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys! I want to give a shout out to Vanessa123, who's been giving me a bunch of reveiws! Thank you so much! And thank you to everyone who has reveiwed, I know I don't have many reveiws compared to other stories, but the few I get really mean a lot to me to know what you guys think. Please keep reveiwing and letting me know what you think! Love hearing from you guys! :)**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

It was a little bit awkward after Dally let me go. As you can imagine, we aren't really 'huggy' type people. But I was really glad he had hugged me, I needed that. He walked into the kitchen casually then turned to look at me.

"Want to... uh... tell me what's up?" he asked, nervously. I could tell he didn't really want to talk about it, I didn't either, so I kept my explanation short.

"Me and Soda had a bit of a fight, and I'm moving back in here now." I replied, grabbing the coke he put on the table for me.

"Did he hurt you?" he asked suddenly. Did he hurt me? Yeah. But not the way Dallas was thinking, not physically.

"It's Soda. You know he didn't," I said. He eyed me carefully.

"You don't look too good," he said. I didn't feel too good either. I was hungover and sad, and frustrated with myself for letting someone hurt me. I mean, I'm Jenny Winston for crying out loud! Nothing touches me, nothing hurts me, nothing gets close enough to hurt me. I guess it was my own fault for letting myself get so attached. I should have known better.

"I'm going to take a shower," I said quietly, finishing off my coke. Dally was still giving me a strange look, but I just turned and walked off. I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. I looked lousy. I was dirty from sleeping outside, I had circles under my eyes and my hair was tangled. I looked at myself and realized why Dally had been giving me strange looks. I looked worn out. I didn't even look like me. I always had my head high, I had a strong look to me and look in my eyes that said 'don't mess with me' I also usually carried myself with dignity. Now as I stared at my reflection, I missed that girl. Now I looked tired, sad, kind of lost. I hated looking and feeling like this.

I stepped into the shower and sighed as the warm water relaxed me. This is the shit that happens when you let your guard down. You care about someone, and they'll hurt you, I learned that at a very young age. I had fallen for Soda, I had let myself get close to him and this is where I ended up. Well, I would fix that. I was happy about one thing though. I had never told him I loved him. He could never hold that against me because I never let him see that weakness. And, as long as I'm thinking about it, since it was never said, I could pretend it didn't exist. There had to be some reason why I could never say it back, well there it is, I don't love him. I can't love him. I just don't love. But I knew I was lying to myself, I just figured if I pretended I didn't love him, then maybe I didn't.

I got out of the shower and got dressed. Then I went downstairs, hoping Dally was still home. I found him eating a sandwich and went over to him.

"Hey, Dal?"

"Yeah?" he asked taking a big bite.

"Um, would you mind going over to Soda's to get my stuff?" I asked him, he looked at me funny.

"Sure, no problem, so are you... did you guys break up?" he asked me slowly, obviously trying not to upset me.

"I think so, I don't know. Neither of us actually said 'it's over' or anything, but he made it pretty clear he didn't want me around anymore," I said bitterly. I guess my tone set Dally off, just not on me.

"Okay, what did he DO? Tell me because I swear I'm going to kick the shit out of him!" He said, his voice rising. I gave him a startled look, I was not expecting that. "Look at you! You've only been here an hour and you're moping around!" I'm moping? I guess I kind of was, "This isn't you Jenny! You're stronger than this! He did this to you!"

"I KNOW!" I screamed. I wasn't yelling at him, I was yelling at the fact that I was so weak. I hated being weak, and Dally knew that. I took a deep breath to calm myself and looked at him. "It's nothing Dally, if you're going to beat him up then I'll go get my stuff if instead. Just leave it alone okay, leave HIM alone," I said, trying to calm us both down. I hated feeling like this, but I wasn't about to set Dallas loose on Soda. He hurt me, and for once in my life I didn't want to see him hurt back. I didn't want Dally to beat him up, I just wanted to put it all behind me. Was I going soft? I hope not.

"Will you at least tell me what happened?" he asked calmly, but I could tell he was ready to explode. I just bit my lip and shook my head no. He glared at me for a second then seemed to have let it go, but I knew he hadn't. "I'll go grab your stuff now," he told me, and headed out the door. I went up to my room to try to sleep off my hangover.

* * *

SODA'S POV

I was sitting on the couch, watching T.V. I wasn't really watching it though, I didn't even know what was on. I was thinking. I felt horrible for yelling at Jenny. I hoped she was alright. I was wondering where she was when Dally came through the door. He looked mean, but not mad, just really tough. He looked around the place and was surprised to find no one there, except me. When he realized it was only me he came over and sat near me.

"Hey, Dal," I said nervously. Did he know where Jenny was? Did he know we had a fight? He must have seen my questioning look because he answered my thoughts with his next words.

"I'm here to get her stuff." He told me, his expression never changing from that mean stare. My face fell knowing she was leaving. Did she think we were broken up? It was just a fight, we could get past it. People in relationships fought all the time. I stood up, realizing he didn't know where her stuff was. I went upstairs and motioned for him to follow. I went into the bottom drawer of me and Pony's dresser and started pulling out her things. We had crammed our own things into the top three drawers so that she could have one, since she would be staying for so long. We didn't want to make her keep living out of that little bag. Dally was sitting on the bed behind me.

"So, uh, how've you been?" I asked him, I hadn't talked to him in a while, he had been pretty upset about me and Jen. Honestly I would be too if I were in his position.

"I've been alright," he said, eyeing me coolly. I wondered what Jen had told him. Did he know I had basically called her a whore? Probably not, knowing Dally if he did know he would have beat my head in by now. "So... what exactly happened?" he asked me slowly. I looked up at him. Hadn't Jenny told him anything? She must have if he was here now. Was he trying to get both sides of the story before he decided to attack me? That didn't sound like Dally, but the again, you never know with him. He's pretty unpredictable.

"Well, It started when I got this note from Sandy," I said, handing him the note off my dresser. I figured I'd just tell him the basics of the fight and skip over the name-calling and yelling part. He looked up from the note and I saw his jaw twitch, but he kept his composure-which is something Dally doesn't usually bother to do, normally, if someone makes him mad, he just knocks the guy out-so I figured I was safe.

"And you're going to see her?" he guessed, spot on. I nodded my head and stared to explain that's what the fight was about, but before I could Dallas was on his feet and had me by my shirt. I was startled at first, but then again, I should have expected an outburst at some point, I mean, this is Dally."ARE YOU TWO TIMING MY SISTER?" he yelled in my face.

"No!" I said immediately, I knew if I stuttered or thought for even one second, Dally would knock me out. "I haven't seen Sandy since she left!" I pleaded, hoping Darry or someone would come home soon.

"THAT DOESN'T MATTER!" he screamed at me. What was he talking about? "ARE YOU STILL IN LOVE WITH SANDY?" My breath caught in my throat. From that small gasp Dally had his answer, he hit me hard enough for me to hit the ground. I was expecting more, but he stopped to yell at me. "YOU USED MY SISTER AS A REBOUND GIRL! YOU USED HER YOU FUCKER!" He punched me hard in the jaw and I fell back to the floor. If someone didn't get here soon I was in big trouble. Last time this happened, I had all the guys there to stop him if he took it too far, this time it was just me and him. I could try to fight back, but I knew I didn't stand much of a chance against Dally when he's mad.

"I wasn't using her Dal! I really do love her!" I pleaded, knowing it wouldn't help.

"YEAH, YOU LOVE HER AND SANDY BOTH!" he screamed, "THAT'S CHEATING IN MY BOOK!" he bent down and hit me again. That got me thinking, was it still cheating if I didn't go near Sandy? I never physically cheated on Jenny. But maybe I was still cheating on her emotionally, or something. I looked back up at Dally. His eyes were blazing the way they do, and his expression and stance was hard and mean. He looked really really scary, and at the moment, I was kind of preying someone would get here.

"I'm so sorry Dally," I whispered, trying to buy some time. He didn't falter, he was still very mad. He knocked some of Ponyboy's books off the dresser, making a loud thud. Then I heard footsteps coming up the hallway. I breathed a sigh of relief that I wouldn't have to fight Dally. Johnny came into the room, a questioning stare on his face when he saw us.

"Leave Johnny! We're busy!" Dally commanded, and Johnny jumped a little at his harshness. He just stood there and looked from me to Dally. I pleaded with him with my eyes to help. "GET OUT!" Dallas yelled, and Johnny jumped again. Jeez, I love Johnny, but at a time like this why couldn't it have been Darry or Steve or Two-Bit who came in? Then Johnny did something that shocked me. He shook his head and walked between me and Dally.

"No," he said quietly to Dally. I just laid there, stunned. Johnny was standing up to Dally. Dally was Johnny's hero, he loved Dally. Johnny was a guy who was scared of his own shadow, he took so many beatings at home it wore him down to a nervous wreck. And Dallas was terrifying. But here it was, Johnny standing up to Dally, the one person he respected most in the world. Dally looked stunned for a second then he narrowed his eyes.

"What?" he demanded. Johnny turned a little white and I heard him gulp. He was scared, I could tell. Heck, I was scared for him. Dally has the worst temper, and Johnny would not be able to handle being hit by Dally.

"Whatever Soda did, I know he didn't mean it. So, no." Johnny said quietly, but bravely. I looked at him with surprise. I saw Dally grind his teeth together. "You're the one who needs to leave, Dal." He told Dally. Then I saw Dally's hand go up. He raised it, his palm ready to come down to Johnny's face. I flinched at the sight of it, but Johnny didn't. He stood his ground and looked Dally in the eye. Then I saw Dally drop his hand to his side. I looked at Dally with surprise. He didn't look mad anymore, he looked defeated. His shoulders hunched and he hooked his thumbs in his belt loops.

"I can't hit you, Johnny," he told him, Johnny relaxed a little bit but stayed where he was, "I could never hit you." Johnny nodded in understanding. I watched as Dally grabbed the bag of Jenny's stuff I had packed from the floor and turn to leave. Before he left he turned to me, "this isn't over," he threatened. Then he turned and stormed out the door.

Johnny turned around to look at me. "You alright Soda?" I smiled at him. He was so caring.

"Yeah, I'm fine, what about you?" I asked him. The guy just stood up to Dally, I figured he must be a little shaken up.

"Yeah," he said, offering me his hand to pull me up to my feet, "I knew he wouldn't hit me." I gave him a questioning look. "I was a little scared, but I would have been really surprised if he did hit me," he explained.

"He really cares about you Johnny," I told him. It was true, I had never seen Dally back down before, but he did for Johnny. I went to the bathroom to see how much damage was done. I had a black eye coming, and a really sore jaw, but other than that I wasn't too bad. "Thanks for sticking up for me like that," I said coming out of the bathroom.

"No problem, so what was that all about anyways?" he asked curiously. I sank onto the couch next to him. I told him everything, the whole fight with Jenny and Dally, how I felt about Jenny and Sandy, everything. He sat there patiently listening. I loved that about Johnny, he would listen to every ones problems, and never judge or interrupt them. When I was done telling him everything I felt much better. Like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I still didn't know what to do, and Johnny didn't either, but at least I had someone to talk to about it all.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**I liked writing this chapter a lot because of the Dallas and Johnny part. Let me know what you think. Predictions, idea's, favorite things so far, anything. I love feedback! It makes my day to sign on and realize a have a new review. Next chapter will be posted soon! Review please!**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

I didn't do much for the next week. I stayed home, slept a lot, didn't eat much. Dally told me I should get out of the house, but I just didn't feel like it. Soda called a couple times, Buck answered the first time and I told him to just tell Soda to leave me alone. Dally answered the second time he called and threatened him, Soda hasn't called since. I'm glad though, I don't want to talk to him. I just want to stay in my room and sleep. I was doing just that when a knock on my door woke me up. I rolled over and mumbled 'come in.' Two-Bit came bouncing through the door and jumped on my bed.

"Hey, sleepy! You ever going to get up?" He asked, grinning as he plopped down beside me. I pulled the blanket over my head.

"Nope, I think I'll live in here from now on," I replied sleepily.

"Well, you can't do that! You'll be like a hermit! Me and the boys miss you," he told me. I peaked out from under my blanket at him and shook my head no. "If you won't get out, I'll make you!" he said gleefully. Then he crawled to the bottom of my bed and grabbed my foot and started tickling it. I started laughing and kicking and trying to get free but he was too strong. He dragged me out from under the covers, still tickling me, as I laughed and begged for him to stop. He just tickled me more, until I fell off the bed with a 'thud.' He stopped tickling me and laughed at me. I laughed too. I hadn't laughed in the last week, and it was really nice to finally be smiling again. "So, you want to come out and get something to eat with me and Johnny?" he asked me, sitting beside me on the floor. I smiled at him and nodded, then kicked him out so I could get dressed.

I went downstairs and found Two-Bit and Johnny sitting with Dally. Dally smiled at me when I came down and said "Your out of pajamas! I knew sending Two-Bit up there would work." So he was the one who sent Two-Bit up to torture me out of bed. How kind of him.

"You coming with us Dal?" I asked him.

"Naw, I got some stuff I got to take care of," He told me as I headed out the door with Two-Bit and Johnny.

By the time we got to the diner I felt really good. A lot better then I had all week. I guess I really needed the fresh air, and Two-Bit made me feel pretty good too, with all the laughing and joking around. We got a booth by the window and talked about what everyone had been up to for the last week. Our food came, and I realized I was a lot hungrier than I thought I was. I finished all my food before Johnny and Two-Bit, then started eating their fries and picking off their plates. I laughed as Two-Bit teased me about it, but I realized I had hardly eaten all week, so I didn't care how I looked while I was stuffing my mouth. As we got up to leave, I noticed a couple sitting by the back window. The girl looked upset, and the boy had his hand on hers, comforting her. I don't know why I bothered to even look. I don't know what made me feel like I had to see who he was. But I did, I took a couple steps closer and gasped when I saw him.

There he was, Sodapop Curtis, out with some blond girl. He must have heard me gasp, because he turned around and saw me. His eyes got wide and he stood up, but I had already turned around and was running out of there. "Jenny!" I heard him call after me, but I was already gone. I ran down the street all the way back to Bucks without stopping. I shut the door tight behind me, trying to lock out my thoughts. He had already moved on. While I was in the house moping around he was out getting himself girls. I felt so pathetic. I was standing there gasping, trying to catch my breath, but I couldn't. Every time I thought about Soda, I felt like I was being punched in the gut. Every time I closed my eyes I saw him sitting across from her, holding her hand. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have believed him when he told me he loved me? Only a week after our fight he already had another girl. Then a thought hit me. What if it was Sandy? I told him to be with her. I remember yelling at him, telling him I didn't care, he could be with his little whore. I didn't think he'd take me up on that.

* * *

SODA'S POV

I had called Sandy. I was only going to see how she was doing and let her know how I was. We met at the diner and took a seat in the back. She was really excited to see me, she gave me a big hug as soon as she saw me and smiled at me. I looked at her and tried to smile back, but I couldn't. She looked so hopeful and excited. I thought when I saw her I would feel some of that, or at least happy, but I didn't. I didn't really feel anything. I sat down with her and we talked. She told me about her life and how things were going for her. I smiled at her and tried to be supportive and happy that she said she was doing well. But I didn't really feel much, I was glad she was doing okay, but it didn't really matter to me. She realized I was being kind of quiet and apologized for everything she had done. I just looked at her.

"Soda, I know it was wrong, I do," she was close to tears, and I hated that, I didn't want to make her cry, "I feel horrible, I don't expect you to forgive me, I can't even forgive myself! But, Soda, I have to know that you know I loved you. I'm so sorry," her voice went down to a whisper, "I still love you." She looked up at me and her eyelashes were wet with tears she was trying to blink back. I still didn't say anything, I didn't know what to say. "Soda, is there anyway... could you..." she took a deep breath, "can we get back together?"

My eyes widened. She wanted to get back together? Every bit of common sense inside of me told me to say yes. She would never do it again, she loved me, she was easy to love. But I didn't love her. I did once, but not anymore. I loved Jenny, and it killed me sometimes, but I did. I looked across the table at a crying Sandy and grabbed her hand to comfort her.

"Sandy, I forgive you," I told her, and I meant it. I had been so upset with her for hurting me so bad, but until I saw her today I couldn't move on. Now, since I had Jenny, I was sitting here, listening to her talk and thinking 'I'm not mad anymore, I'm happy we're done because if we weren't I wouldn't be with Jenny right now'. She smiled, and let out a small laugh so was so happy at my words. She wiped away her tears and smiled at me. "I'm not mad at you anymore. You broke my heart when you left, but I'm okay now... I'm happy now," her face fell.

"There's someone else isn't there?" she asked, but she already knew the answer. I nodded and she looked down.

"Sandy, I love her. The way I loved you. You don't have to beat yourself up anymore, because I'm okay, and from what you've said, it sounds like you are too. You'll find someone else. We weren't meant to be Sandy, I see that now," I said gently, rubbing the back of her hand. Then I heard a gasp behind me. I turned around to see Jenny watching me. She was out of earshot though, this must look so bad. I stood up to explain, but she wheeled around and ran off.

"Jenny!" I screamed after her, "Jenny! It's not what you think!" I yelled trying to catch up to her. I don't think she heard me, if she did she ignored me. I started to chase her but Two-Bit stopped me.

"I'll go after her, she won't let you in now anyways," he told me running off. I stopped and let him go after her. He was right, she would listen to him right now over me. I turned back and saw Johnny sitting where Sandy was.

"Where she go?" I asked him.

"She left, told me to tell you she's sorry, and that she was going to go back to Florida. She said she loved you and you guys couldn't be friends or nothing because she wouldn't be able to handle that. She said she hopes you have a happy life and wishes you the best," he explained to me. I sat down across from him. I was thinking about Jenny, what I should do, how I could reach her, when Johnny cut into my thoughts. "Soda, don't worry, she just needs to cool down, you two will work things out." I don't know how Johnny had known what I was thinking, it was almost as if he could read my mind. But I was glad he did, because I really needed to hear that. I smiled at him.

"Thanks, Johnny. C'mon, let's go home," I said, getting up and throwing some money on the table.

* * *

JENNY'S POV

Hard knocking on the door behind me made me jump. If it's him, I'll kick the crap out of him right now! Then, when Dally got home, I'd send him after him. I'll teach him to treat me like that. Then I heard Two-Bit's voice, "Jenny! Open up! C'mon Jen, just let me talk to you!" I shook my head vigorously, trying to get the image of Soda and the girl out of my head.

"No! No, Two-Bit, I need some time to think, okay? Can you please just leave me alone for a while?" I asked, trying my best to stay calm. I could hear him sigh through the door.

"Okay, but if you need anything, anything at all, just give me a call, or come over to my place, alright?" he shouted through the door.

"Okay, Two-Bit," I said, and went up to my room to change back into pajamas. Once I was comfortable, I tried to sleep, but I just couldn't stop thinking. So I went downstairs and onto the porch to have a smoke. I sat there and let it relax me, I tried my best not to think, instead just focused on blowing a perfect smoke ring. I had been standing with my arms on the shabby wooden railing when someone came and stood next to me. I looked over to see Buck lighting up his own cigarette. I rolled my eyes. Did he really need to be here right now? Could he not tell I wanted to be alone.

"That Sodapop kid messin' with ya?" he asked me suddenly. I glared at him. Couldn't he just go away?

"That's my buisness." I told him, hoping he would take the hint and leave. He didn't, he laughed at me then took a long drag of smoke.

"Yeah, alright, I get it," he said. Good, he understands something other than alcohol and rodeos. "But it's kind of bummin' me out, you mopin' 'round the house. I'm throwin' a party tomorrow night, if ya feel like leavin' your room," he told me. A party sounds really fun right now. Lots of alcohol and music. I really need a good time.

"I'll think about it," I told him, he nodded and went back into the house.

I didn't do anything that night, I just went up to my room and lay around like I had been doing all week. I thought a lot about Soda. I was so mad at him, but I decided to forget my plan to beat him up then have Dally beat him up. No, I had to do something better. Something that showed him I was done with him the same way he was done with me. He wants to go out with some girl, I could play like that too.

"Jenny!" Buck inturrupted my thoughts from downstairs.

"What?" I yelled back.

"Dally's in jail!" he screamed up to me.

"What'd he do?" I asked him.

"Dunno, he just called and told me to let you know he wouldn't be out for a while!" he explained

"Alright!" I screamed, going back to my thoughts. Dally was going to be away for a while. Perfect. Now I could party like I know how. I could party like I used to in New York. This was going to be fun.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Well here you go! another chapter for you! Thank you all so much for the reviews! I've still got a long way to go with this! Please keep reviewing!**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

I was getting ready for the party tonight. I had showered and dried my hair, and decided I would curl it. I did my makeup and I heard a few people downstairs. It was around 9:30, so I still had plenty of time. I went through my closet and found my sluttiest outfit. I hadn't worn it yet while I was here because I was with Soda and Dally was around. I hadn't partied much at all since I got here actually, and I was kind of looking forward to doing something I was used to. I slid into the tiny black miniskirt. It just barely covered my bum. Then I put on my pink top. It was skin tight and only covered my breasts and a little bit of my shoulders. I looked at my final creation in my mirror. I looked like a whore. I didn't care; tonight I was going to have fun. Tonight, I was going to show Soda I didn't need him. Tonight, I was single.

I went downstairs at 10:30. The place was already packed. I could hardly see through all the smoke. I went to the fridge to get a beer and noticed some guys were starting a poker game. I needed some extra cash, so I decided not to get totally bombed yet and told them I was joining too. Half of them stared at my chest the other half looked at me with surprise.

"You think you can beat us at poker, girly?" A really ugly looking guy slurred to me.

"Easily," I told him, looking him in the eye.

"How much cash you got?" he asked, slurring his words again. I rolled my eyes at him.

"I'll go get it," I told him and ran upstairs. I went into Dally's room and dug to the bottom of his drawer. Sitting next to a heater was a wad of cash. I grabbed about half of it and stuck it in my bra, then ran back downstairs. I didn't think twice about it being Dally's money, I would win back triple that amount against these drunk idiots anyways. I played a wicked game of poker. Some of the guys were real mad that they were losing to a girl, while some just stared at me. By then end of the game it was just me against the ugly guy who had doubted me when I first came by. He was really determined. He stared me down as we put all the money on the table. I had come down with $200, and right now I could win over $500. I set down my cards on the table and he gasped at them. I had him. I won. I smiled slyly and he yelled.

"You little bitch!" he screamed, lunging at me. I deked out of his way and he fell. I laughed and so did some of the guys around us. He tried to get up and get me, but he was so drunk he stumbled down again. I laughed again as I collected my money. I knew I would win. I folded it all up and went upstairs. I replaced the money I had taken from Dally and put the rest in the bottom of my own drawer. Then I went back downstairs to enjoy the rest of the party.

I went into the kitchen and grabbed myself a beer. I stepped over the now passed out sore loser by the poker table and went to flirt with a guy who had been giving me looks all night. He was decent looking, black hair, brown eyes, and a slight build. I went over and he started chatting me up. I smiled and giggled at the stupid thing he said like some brainless broad, because I knew that's what he was going for. Before I knew it we were making out on the sofa. He was on top of me, all over me, but I didn't mind. I was pretty tipsy by now and this was what I had been looking for. Then for some reason, he stopped. He wasn't even on me anymore. I opened my eyes and saw Tim Shepard hauling him to his feet. I looked at him curiously as he said something quietly to the guy then threw him off to the side. The guy-his name was Paul- just stumbled back to his feet and stalked off, trying to look cool. I looked up at Tim.

"What you do that for?" I asked him in a harsh tone. He looked down at me and laughed then grabbed my hand and pulled me up to my feet.

"That's one of my boys, and I know that he has no idea you're Dally sister. So when Dal finds out and beats my boys head in, he isn't even going to know why," he explained to me, but I still didn't get why he cut into my make-out time. "I'm just watching out for my boy is all." I gave him a glare then went off to get another beer. He followed after me. "Aw, don't tell me you're mad at me, Hun," he said in a pouty voice. Then I had an idea. I turned around to face him.

"I am. You cut into my make-out time. Now I have no one to make out with and it's all your fault!" I said in a little girl voice, then sighed extra dramatically and looked at him, "you have to make this up to me somehow." I gave him a flirty smile and he stepped closer.

"Well, what could I do to make it up to you, huh?" he asked, teasingly. I smiled and stepped closer, so that our bodies were touching.

"Well... you could find me a new guy?" I said as I ran my finger across his collarbone. "He has to be tough. He's got to be strong, and dangerous. Brown eyes, preferably," I said as my hand went a little lower down his chest. He smiled at me as his hands went around my waist. "Oh! And he can't be a coward. He's got to be tough enough to face Dallas Winston." I told him and smiled slyly. I knew that would be the kicker. If he decided to kiss me, he was exactly my type-daring, brave, and bad. But if he walked away, then I would know I didn't want anything to do with him, and that he wasn't worth it if he was going to punk out like that. He took a moment before saying anything.

"Well..." he started, but I cut him off.

"I'm going to go dance. So, if you manage to find me the guy I'm looking for, bring him over to me and I'll forgive you," I said, as I abruptly pushed myself out of his arms and started dancing on one of the tables. I looked over at him only once, and smiled to myself when I saw he was staring at me with amazement at my boldness.

I was only dancing for a few minutes by myself when I felt strong arms go around my waist and pull me back into them. I smiled as I felt his breath on my neck.

"See, Jenny, the thing about that little speech you gave me is that there is absolutely no guy here brave enough to stand up to your brother," he said into my ear.

"Oh?" I asked him, smiling.

"Well... except me," he said, then turned me around and kissed me. The kiss was passionate and demanding. When he finally pulled his tongue out of my mouth we were both breathing hard. I smiled at him. "Am I forgiven for pulling Paul off you earlier?"

"You bet."

The rest of the night was a blur. It was Tim and me and dancing and kissing and lots and lots of drinks. I don't remember much, except laughing and falling a lot.

I woke up with a pounding headache, as can be expected. After lying still for a while, trying to get my eyes to adjust to the light, I got up. I stood for a minute holding my head before I shivered. I looked down at myself and sure enough, I was naked. I groaned at myself then turned to see Tim passed out in my bed. I squeezed my eyes shut, just to make sure he was really there. He was. Oh well, I wasn't planning on going that far tonight, but what's done is done I guess. I sighed and went to get myself woken up. I took a really long shower and Advil, and brought some Advil and water up for Tim. I got dressed in sweatpants and an old t-shirt and towel dried my hair. Then I sat next to Tim and shook him gently.

"Tim. Tim wake up," I whispered. He groaned and opened his eyes. "Hey," I said, smiling at him and handing him the pills and water, "here, take these." He smiled real wide at me.

"Thanks, how you feeling?" he asked me. I groaned and shook my head, "yeah. Same here." He looked around nervously then back to me, "So... uh, when does Dally get home?" I laughed at him, but it hurt my head so I stopped.

"Thought you said you weren't scared of facing Dally!" I reminded him.

"I ain't scared of ol' Dal, I was just wondering if I would have to fight him with my head thumping like this," he said to me.

"Yeah, whatever. Don't worry about it, he's in the cooler for a while," I told him, and he relaxed a little bit. "So, uh... you can just grab your clothes and go whenever you want, I'm just going to hang around here today and try to sleep off this hangover," I told him. I've done this before, and I know how awkward the morning after is sometimes, so I decided to make sure he didn't have to make up some lame excuse as to why he had to leave suddenly and never call again.

"You kicking me out already?" he asked me, which surprised me; usually they book it out of there as soon as they could.

"Why, were you planning on staying?" I asked sarcastically.

"Yeah, I was thinking we could go get breakfast or something," he said, completely serious, I looked at him with surprise, "but if you don't want to I'll just go."

"No. No, breakfast sounds nice, actually," I felt so rude now. He got dressed and we went out to eat. It was really nice, besides the fact that we were both kind of out of it from our hangovers. I went out in my sweats, and my wet hair in a bun, I didn't care how I looked, I wasn't about to dress up when I felt like crap. I wanted to be comfortable; Tim didn't seem to care, either. It turned out to be a pretty nice morning.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys! Thanks again for all the reviews! I know Soda isn't in this chapter, but he'll be in the next one. Review and tell me what you think, predictions, anything! I'll be updating again soon! Review please!**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

Things were going pretty good, for me. I still missed Soda, and it hurt to think about him, which made me mad a lot. Tim and I continued to see each other. We didn't really date, just partied and slept together. We weren't official, he hadn't asked me to be his girl, I would have said no anyways and he knew that. It's probably why he never asked. We had only been seeing each other for a week or so anyways. Soda kept trying to talk to me, but I shut him out. I shut out anyone who mentioned him to me.

One morning, I woke up earlier than usual with Tim's arm around me. I wiggled out from under it and heard a knocking at my door. That's probably what woke me up. I walked over to the door and opened it up just enough so I could peek my head out. Johnny was standing in the hallway. He had a fresh bruise on his face, and it immediately made me want to hug him. The poor kid didn't deserve that. I wondered what he was doing here. He doesn't come to Buck's often; in fact, I don't ever remember seeing him here. I wondered how he knew where my room was.

"One second, Johnny," I told him and closed the door to find some clothes. I put on some underwear and Tim's baggy sweater that was on the floor. It was big enough to cover me down to my thighs. I opened the door just wide enough for me to slip out into the hall and closed the door behind me, so that Johnny couldn't see into the room.

"Jenny, I really need to talk to you," he told me.

"Okay, Johnnycakes, what's up?" I asked him. The way he was being so serious was kind of freaking me out.

"I know you won't really listen to anyone about this stuff, that's why I'm here, I need you to listen to me," he said quietly. What was he talking about? I waited for him to go on. "Everything that happened with Soda was just a misunderstanding," he started, but I cut him off with a groan.

"Johnny, I don't want to hear it!" I said harshly. I was going to storm back into my room when I looked at him. So that was why Soda had sent Johnny, of all people, over to talk to me. I couldn't storm away from him. He had that sad pleading look in his eyes and I couldn't even turn away. The bruise on his face made it even harder. I suddenly wondered how his father could hit him the way he did. How could _anyone_ hurt Johnny? I sighed and turned back to him. "Fine, talk." He smiled at me then. I looked at him, "you got those puppy-dog eyes down pat Johnnycake," I told him. He smiled wider. Then he started to explain to me.

He told me how horrible Soda had felt after our big fight, how he regretted saying what he did. He told me how Soda loved me, so much, and it killed him for me to be so mad at him. He explained how Soda had called and went to see Sandy to tell her about me, and ask her how she was doing. He said Soda loved me more than anything, and he wanted to tell Sandy that so that she would be out of his life forever. Sort of like closure. With ever word I got happier. Soda did love me. He loved me! I was smiling so much by the time Johnny was done my cheeks hurt. Johnny smiled back at me, then his looked turned to confusion.

"Hey, Jenny?" he asked cautiously.

"Yeah?" I said still smiling like a fool.

"Is that Tim Shepard's sweater?"

My face fell. His question made reality hit me hard. I was messing around with Tim. Behind Soda's back! We never even officially broke up! No, no, no! Soda was going to hate me. He was going to scream at me and never take me back. It would be over, and it would be all my fault. All my fault because I was so stubborn I couldn't even pick up the phone and let him explain things to me. I just jumped into bed with Tim before I knew anything. How could I be so stupid?

"No. No. No! Johnny, no! What did I do?" I panicked. I started breathing really hard and grabbed onto Johnny for support. What could I do? How could I fix this? "Johnny! I have to see him! I have to go see him!" And without a second thought I ran down the stairs, out the door and down the street still in just a big sweater.

I got to Soda's in record time. I don't think anyone has ever run that fast before. I burst in the door without knocking.

"Soda! Soda, are you here!" I screamed into the house. Ponyboy was sitting on the couch and jumped when I burst in. Darry looked at me from the kitchen with surprise; I just continued to run around their house like a crazy person, looking for Soda. He must have heard all the commotion, because he came down the stairs looking really confused. "SODA!" I screamed, and ran into his arms. He hugged me back just as hard. I was gasping for air from running so much, but I didn't want to let him go, ever.

"I'm so sorry Jenny! I'm so sorry!" he said, trying to calm me down while he hugged me. I shook my head and he rubbed my back, "honey, it's okay, what happened?" I probably looked insane right now. After running all that way I could feel that my hair was windswept and I was still gasping for breath as I held on to him as if he was the only thing in this world. I shook my head no again and slowly pushed myself back. I didn't want to. I wanted him to hold me forever, but I knew I wouldn't get that. That would probably be the last time he held me considering what I was going to tell him. I looked up at him and tried to take a mental picture of him looking at me so lovingly.

"I'm so sorry Soda," I said, but it came out as a whisper. He didn't let me finish. He pulled me back into him, pressing the side of my head into his chest and stroking my hair. It calmed me down, a lot. I took a deep breath and started to pull away so I could explain, but he started talking before I could.

"No, Jenny, it's alright. It's as much my fault as yours, it's okay, and I forgive you. I love you." He said, and I froze. He loved me. The words repeated themselves in my head as he pulled my face up to his and kissed me. I kissed him back for a second, then pulled back abruptly. He looked at me confused. Okay, here goes nothing.

"Soda, I need to talk to you. Can we go somewhere move private?" I asked, realizing Ponyboy and Darry could hear every word we said. He nodded and led me up to his room. I sat on the bed and he sat next to me. I opened my mouth to start talking, but when nothing came out I stood up and started pacing. I had to tell him. I just had to say it.

"Soda..." I stopped and couldn't say it. "Soda..." I tried again, but failed, once again. I took a deep breath and stopped pacing. I'll just say it. I turned and looked at him. He was standing now as he looked at me, curiously. "Soda... I slept with Tim."

His knees seemed to give out under him and he sat back down on the bed. I just watched him. I didn't dare move. He looked broken. I felt horrible. His eyes were distant and sad, his face so still it was kind of eerie. I saw a silent tear roll down his cheek and broke my silence.

"Soda, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't know! I didn't know anything! I was stupid and stubborn! It hurt so bad to see you with Sandy! I hurt so badly, Soda! I wish I could take it back, I wish..." I was rambling on when he cut me off.

"SHUT UP!" He screamed. I took a step back and gasped at his harshness. "Just... just shut up for a minute," he said, much quieter. I stood watching him as he stared off into space for what seemed like an eternity. Then I decided to take a step closer. He didn't seem to notice so I took another. When he still didn't react I walked over slowly and sat on the bed beside him. He still didn't even move. I sighed and leaned in close and kissed him lightly on the cheek. He turned to look at me, but there was no expression on his face, nothing in his eyes. He looked so blank. "I'm so sorry Soda." I whispered into his ear.

He lay back and stared up for a second then he looked at me again. This time his eyes were filled with hurt. So much pain I hated myself for doing that to him. "Soda, Is there anything...?" I trailed off, "any way you could forgive me?" His expression didn't change and I stood up feeling so much anger at myself. "Soda, I'll do anything, just tell me what I have to do! Please." Here I was, begging. I looked pathetic. I didn't care though; I would do anything I could to keep him. His eyes widened a little as he thought of something.

"Tell me you love me," he told me.

I gasped and looked at him. I love you! I love you! I love you! My mind was screaming at me, but no words came out. Why couldn't I say it?

"Jenny, I love you. If you would just say it back... Just say it back," he looked at me, waiting. His huge brown eyes stared at me. I wanted to say it. I wanted to say it so badly. I didn't though. After a few minutes his eyes fell to the floor and I saw a couple more tears run down his face.

"Soda..." I pleaded with him, trying to make him understand, but he cut me off.

"I want you to leave then." He said quietly. When I didn't move he looked up from the ground to me. He suddenly looked weak, worn out, tired. "Leave." He commanded. I glanced at him one last time then left.

I walked down the stairs slowly, hating myself. I didn't say a word to his brothers or Johnny, who I could feel watching me as I walked out the door. I wandered down the street in a mental fog. I knew where I was going though. I was going to find the one person who could make me feel something right now. Something other than emptiness, even if it was only physical. I was going to find Tim Shepard.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Hey, thanks for all of the reviews! I've got the rest of the story already planned out roughly and can't wait to post it! I got one review saying they hope I don't make this another story where she ends up pregnant, well don't worry about that, I have no intentions of it because I feel like there are already too many of those stories on here anyways. Plus, I've kind of gotten really attached to Jenny's character and I would hate to see her knocked up ahahah. So keep reviewing because I love hearing what you have to say and I'll be updating again soon!**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

The depression that engulfed me was beyond something I could understand. I felt awful. I was always sad, angry or just empty. So much of me felt empty. I wouldn't think about Soda. If I did, I became so upset I wanted to scream. I was so stupid; I had made so many mistakes. My worst mistake was that I had ever gotten together with him in the first place. I knew I would hurt him. I knew it, but I let him convince me to go against my own conscience. It ended just how I had predicted it would, except I got hurt too. Never saw that one coming. I should have known better. You get too close to people, and you go soft. You can never let yourself go soft in this world. You stay tough and you don't get hurt.

I was seeing Tim. Well, not really seeing him, more like sleeping with him. That's all it was. All we would ever be. Tim was just a guy who gave me a couple hours away from my thoughts, a couple hours of feeling something, _anything_. Anything other than empty. We didn't date, I didn't want to, we partied sometimes, but I didn't have fun. The alcohol sometimes helped, but like anything, it wouldn't last. I would only feel worst in the morning.

I lay in bed one night, with Tim. We had been 'together' for almost a month now. He had his arm around me, and I was about to fall asleep when moved to sit up.

"Jenny, I want to talk to you," he told me. I just looked at him, staring through him. He sighed and looked distressed. "Jen, I want you to be my girl," he paused and when I didn't say anything, or move, or blink, he asked again. "Will you be my girl?"

I looked up at the ceiling, then back at him. "No." No emotion, my voice was empty. So what if I hurt him? He'd get over it. He looked at the floor.

"Why?" he asked quietly.

"I won't ever be your girl Tim, or anybody else's. I don't want to be. I'm my own girl, I belong to no one and I want to stay that way. I don't need anyone, I never have, and I never will," I told him. That used to be true. I wasn't so sure anymore, but it's not like he needed to know that.

"You were Soda's girl," he said, glaring at me. I sat up as the anger rushed through me. How dare he mention his name? He knew how I felt better than anyone. Now here he was, sitting in front of me, angry at me. Fuck him. I don't need him.

"Leave, Tim." I told him, as calmly as I could manage. He softened but didn't move.

"You know the only time I see any form of life in you is when you're angry? I haven't seen any look other than that stupid blank stare since..." he trailed off, "I'm not leaving, I don't want to. I just want to see you smile, or show some type of emotion... some kind of life! You look at me but it's like you don't see me. You don't have to be my girl. But I'm staying anyways." He told me. Why would he want to stay if I hurt him so much? Huh, whatever, not my problem if he wants to stick around. I lay back down and he crawled over me, kissing me. I just lay back and tried, once again, not to feel Soda's lips on me, not see Soda's face. I couldn't do it though; I couldn't forget him, no matter how hard I tried.

* * *

Another month past. Another month of nothing happening and nothing mattering. It was a warm day as I walked back from Tim's, but I didn't notice it. I never noticed anything anymore. I got in the house and went up to my room. I lay in my bed for a good hour before I heard something from downstairs. I figured Buck had just got home, but he sounded louder than usual.

"Jenny!" he screamed. It wasn't Buck. I jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs as fast as I could. I felt... happy. Happier than I had in two horrible months. I bounced down the stairs and wrapped him in a bear hug. I couldn't help it. Dally was home! He stood shocked for a minute then awkwardly put his arms around me too. I could smell cigarettes and cheap cologne. I buried my head in his shoulder and held tight for a few minutes, before he stepped back and grabbed my arms to push me away from him. I looked up at him, but he did not look happy to see me. I gave a confused look to his angry one.

"Oh, don't look at me like that!" he screamed, and I jumped a little at his harshness. "I know what's been going on! How do you think I feel to get out of jail and hear from some guy that you and SHEPARD been doing the nasty!" My jaw dropped. Well, that was really quick.

"Who told you?" I asked him, calmly. I know that wasn't really the point but I had to know who's skull I would be kicking in.

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT HERE JENNY!" he yelled, and I just looked at him. Whatever, I'd find out eventually who told. This town was filled with gossip, someone must know who squealed. "WHAT THE FUCK JENNY? SHEPARD? WHY SHEPARD? OF ALL PEOPLE!"

I shrugged. "He's like, the only guy not scared of you," I said.

"Like hell he isn't! You should've seen him running earlier!" he yelled, laughing, obviously trying to piss me off. I realized then that his hand was bleeding.

"How bad you give it to him?" I asked, coolly. Tim knew what he was getting into with me. It was as much his fault as mine or Dally's. Dally stopped yelling for a second. He was still mad, but he was looking at me funny.

"Why aren't you yelling?" he asked, suddenly. I shrugged.

"Don't care." I told him.

"Good. Then you'll be fine when I say you cannot see Tim again. The two of you are DONE. Got it?" He told me, pointing his finger in my face. I felt the anger build inside me. I didn't care about Tim. I didn't care about weather I would see him or not. I did care that Dally, once again, thought he could tell me what to do.

"No." I told him, and then raised my voice as I felt the anger strengthen me, "NO! DAMMIT DALLAS! NO ONE TELLS ME WHAT TO DO! YOU DISSAPEAR FOR TWO WHOLE FUCKING MONTHS AND EXPECT TO RUN MY LIFE! FUCK YOU! THINGS HAVE CHANGED!" I screamed at him. His eyes widened.

"YOU WON'T SEE TIM AGAIN AND THAT'S FINAL. I WAS ARRESTED! I CAN'T DO SHIT ABOUT THAT! IT'S ONLY BEEN TWO MONTHS JENNY AND YOU'VE BECOME A WHORE!" He snapped back at me.

"YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN ARRESTED! SHIT HAPPENED! AND I WAS LEFT ALONE TO DEAL WITH IT! SO I DID DEAL WITH IT. WITH TIM!" I screamed. He narrowed his eyes at me.

"YOU AND SODA BROKE UP, BOO-FUCKING-HOO, THAT DOESN'T MEAN SLEEP WITH THE FIRST GUY YOU SEE!" he smacked the wall. I caught my breath in my throat. It hurt to hear his name. I hurt to hear him say 'broken up.' I wanted to curl up in a ball and never move, but instead I just backed into the wall and looked at Dally. He was still really mad. He eyes on fire, the way I've been told mine get when I'm like that.

"I'll keep banging Tim if I want to." I told him, and he grinded his teeth at the way I said it.

"No! Jenny, listen to me!" he said, his voice was quieter, pleading almost, but he was still mad. "He's not a good person! He's almost as bad as me! You deserve better than that! He's no good for you!" I laughed a little at his words. Tim's no good for me? Yeah right. I'm to one who's no good for him, but I didn't care.

"I can handle myself Dallas." I said. Then, before he could yell anymore, I turned and left. I walked out the door and down the street. I knew he would be even angrier when I got back for leaving like that. But that didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

I kicked a rock down the street as I walked. Why did Dally care anyways? I didn't matter to him. I had a hard time these past two months and he wasn't there. He didn't even care how crappy I felt. Just like when we were little and he had left me. I didn't mean anything to him. Oh well, I didn't need him. I didn't need anyone. I could make it on my own just fine, I had for years.

I looked up at the house. The run down, dirty old house. It was Tim's, I figured I'd stop by and see how bad off he was, and if I could spend the night. I walked up the driveway and knocked on his shabby old door.

My eyes widened at the person who opened it. It wasn't Tim, or his brother, Curly, or anyone else from his family. It was Sylvia. She was wearing nothing but Tim's shirt, and she gasped when she saw it was me.

"Who is it, baby?" Tim asked. He poked his head around the corner and stopped as his mouth dropped open.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Wow! Thanks for the great reviews on the last chapter! I know this is a depressing one, but I'm getting kind of close to the end now. There's still quite a few chapter's to go, but I got it all planned out in my head. Let me know what you think will happen, what you think so far, anything really. I might update again tonight if I'm not too tired, if not then tomorrow. Review, review, review!**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-Three

I looked from Tim to Sylvia. They both seemed frozen in place. I winded up and punched Sylvia in the face without warning. She hit the ground and was out like a light. Only took one hit this time to knock that bitch out. I stepped over and walked up to Tim.

"What the fuck?" I asked him. I sounded calmer than I thought I would. I glared at him, and he stammered a bit. I didn't really care they were sleeping together. If he would have told me right to my face that he's got other girls I wouldn't have cared. Tim didn't really mean much to me. I did care about that look of giggly happiness that was on her face when she opened the door, before she saw me. I cared about how kind he sounded calling her 'baby.' I cared he was, at the moment, making her eggs. I cared because I used to have that with Soda. I used to.

He was still stammering, but when he realized I wasn't really listening, that I didn't really care, his eyes narrowed. "I asked if you wanted to be my girl! You said no! You don't want me! So why should you care anyways!" his voice was rising.

Why do I care? Why did I bother to knock her out? Because it Sylvia. Sylvia, the dirtiest, greasiest whore in Tulsa. I cared because it was just gross.

"You know what?" he said to me, "I don't think you do care. Do you?" he paused, "DO YOU!" he was pacing now, "TELL ME YOU CARE JENNY! SAY IT!"

In my mind I heard Soda's voice, "tell me you love me," he said to me. I remembered it. How I couldn't answer him. This time I can answer, truthfully.

"I don't." I told him.

I didn't know what happened next. I felt the pain in my right cheek and eye then I hit the floor. I looked up at him. He hit me. He just hit me.

* * *

TIM'S POV

I expected something out of her. She had knocked Sylvia out over me, at least that was something. It was a feeling. She was so cold and hard usually it seemed as though she didn't have feelings. When she came over to me I expected to see her rallied up, blazing eyes and all, but she wasn't. She was calm.

"What the fuck?" she asked, sounding more confused than angry. I started to try to explain to her. I was rambling about how it was just this once; I didn't mean to, all that stuff I usually tell a chick after I get caught. Then I looked at her. She was giving me _that_ look. The blank stare. The one that told me she wasn't listening, she didn't care, and she never would.

I snapped at her. I started yelling. I told her to tell me she cared about me. She had to. I had been with her for months. I was the only one there for her when she needed me. She had told me she didn't need anyone, but she had to, everyone needs someone. I was there for her. I suffered through watching her suffer just to be there for her and she had to care about me. Then without a thought, without a care of what it did to me, without emotion, she told me "I don't."

Without missing a beat I balled up my fist and punched her hard in the face. She lay on the floor looking up at me. Angry. I was happy to see that. At least I had knocked that stupid blank stare off her face. I didn't care that I hit her. I didn't care if she was hurt. She deserved it. After everything she put me through without caring, I could do this to her without caring. I glared down at her. At least now she might start to do as I say.

* * *

JENNY'S POV

He glared down at me. His look said 'that's right, bitch, I'm in charge.' I don't put up with that. I never would. I am nobody's, bitch. I had to deal with shit like this in New York, and I knew how to handle it.

I stood back up and hit him back, hard in the eye, which I had now noticed was black-probably from Dally. He stumbled back but didn't fall.

"Bitch!" he spat, and came at me. He pinned me to the wall and hit me again. The pain flashed through my face, but I pulled my knee up to his gut real hard before he could do anymore. He bent holding his stomach, and I punched him again. This time, his head snapped back up and I could tell he was really mad. He jumped at me, tackling me to the ground. He had my arms pinned and I couldn't get out from under him. He was even stronger than he looked. He started hitting me again. My jaw hurt and my face was bloody. I knew there was nothing I could do, but I struggled against him anyways. I would not give up. I would never give up.

I was close to passing out when I heard a shrill scream that was so high pitched it hurt my ears. Tim stopped what he was doing long enough to look at the now-conscious Sylvia, and that was all the time I needed. I had been wiggling enough to get my hand free. I hit him as hard as I possibly could with all the strength I had left in me in his gut again. He bent again, enough for me to get my other arm free. I hit him once more then pushed him off of me. Then I bolted it out of the house, grabbing stupid, shuttering little Sylvia by the wrist as I left.

She didn't whine or cry or pull away. She ran with me all the way to the lot. It was dark out by then, the streetlights being our only light. Then I stopped and pulled her to face me. I could see now that she was crying, the mascara running down her face. With her being such a whore I would have expected her to have been in a situation like that before. She tried to collect herself but failed. I sighed and wiped away her tears.

I led her over to a bench and told her to sit. She did as I commanded and stared at me.

"You don't look so good," she told me. Yeah, I figured that much, seeing as Tim Shepard just beat the crap out of me, dumb bitch.

"I'm fine," I told her, as I pulled out a smoke and handed her one too. She was still crying, "Listen, Sylvia, don't worry about shit like that. You'll probably see more of it in your lifetime anyways," I told her, doing my best to calm her down.

"I, I just didn't expect him to snap like that," her voice shook, "hey... thanks." She said which surprised me because she actually sounded sincere.

"No problem. I don't like you Sylvia; don't think any of this has changed that. But us girls, we got to stick together. Because boys can tear you apart," I sighed trying to explain these things to her, no doubt her mother probably never gave her advice or anything, "I'm going to go, thing's between us haven't changed. If you piss me off, I'm still going to kick your ass. But if I were to see you getting beaten or raped by some socs or something, I'd stop and help." Then I turned and walked away.

I don't know where I was going. It was like my feet were just taking me where they wanted though. I just went along with it. My face was throbbing, but I ignored it. I wondered where I should go. Soda never wanted to see me again. Dally didn't care about me. Tim just beat the crap out of me. Where could I go? Suddenly my feet stopped moving. I looked up to where they had taken me and smiled. They were the smartest feet ever. I laughed out loud at my stupid thoughts.

I looked up at the little house. You could tell someone had tried to clean it, but didn't get very far. It was a nice little house. It seemed like the last time I was here was so long ago it felt like a dream. I walked up to the door and knocked lightly, still smiling. The door creaked open; I hoped I hadn't waked anyone up.

He stood there in only a pair of jeans. I smiled real wide when I saw him, even though his usual grin was gone.

"Jenny?" he asked, as he blinked at me in the darkness, then his eyes widened as he noticed my bruised face. I still stood there smiling at him. I hadn't seen him in so long.

"Hey, Two-Bit!" I said gleefully.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Here it is! Big chapter here. Review, let me know what you think! More tomorrow!**


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty-Four

Two-Bit opened the door wider to let me in, and I strolled past him into his living room and crashed down onto his couch. I lay there comfortably and ran my fingers through my hair as he stared at me in shock. Then he went to turn on the light. He flicked it on and I was squinting a little bit because my eyes had adjusted to the dark. I heard him gasp as he looked at me. I must really look like shit. I didn't say anything, or move, I just lay there peacefully.

I felt really happy. It was weird; I hadn't felt anything in so long. Maybe I was going crazy. Yeah, that's probably it. Sleep depression, shock, possible broken bones, and two months of not feeling any emotion will do that to you. I felt kind of light, like nothing mattered. I wasn't thinking about anything, all I was doing was mentally assessing my current state, emotionally and physically.

"What... what happened?" Two-Bit asked, and I looked at his confused, worried face. He shouldn't look like that. Two-Bit should be grinning, and joking around. I stood and went over to him, touching his arm gently.

"Don't worry about it Two-Bit. I'm alright, I feel good," I said slowly. My voice sounded like I was high or something and I laughed lightly at myself. Two-Bit's eyes widened at me.

"Come here, sit down, I got to go get something to clean you up," he told me, leading me back over to the couch and lightly pushing me down. I watched him as he scurried out of the room. He came back with his hand full of things. He sat in front of me and started dabbing my face with a cool damp towel. I sighed because it felt so good on my aching skin.

My eyes started to feel heavy as he finished putting on some bandages. He noticed and moved all the stuff of the couch, and then he turned me and lay me back. He took my shoes off for me and put a blanket over me.

"Jenny, please, tell me who did this." He asked me quietly. I didn't like the seriousness of his voice. I wanted him to be laughing and happy like I remembered him.

"Tim Shepard," I mumbled before falling into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

When I woke up it was really bright. I pulled the covers over my head hoping to sleep some more, but my hand bumped the side of my face. I winced at the sudden pain that filled my whole head. Then, like lightning, all the memories of the night before hit me. I could see it all happening again, and squeezed my eyes shut to try to get rid of the images. After a few minutes I sat up and looked around.

Two-Bit came out of the kitchen, hearing me yawn, with eggs. He was wearing only a pair of old jeans. He put the eggs in front of me and put his arm gently around my shoulders. I didn't feel the stupid, weird happiness I had felt last night. I only felt pain. I looked from the eggs to him. His eyes were gentle and filled with worry.

"Jenny," he said softly, "try to eat something, okay?" I looked back at the eggs and picked up the fork. I lifted a small bite to my mouth but I hurt to move my lips. It hurt to chew, to swallow. It hurt to breathe or to do anything. I suffered through a couple more bites for Two-Bit's sake before I turned to him.

"Could I use your shower?" I asked. My voice was hoarse and it surprised me at how weak it sounded. He nodded and took my hand to help me up. He led me to his bathroom and grabbed me a towel.

"Want me to help you un-wrap your face?" he asked me. I nodded as he stared to pull off each bandage, gently. I didn't look in the mirror. I didn't want to. In my mind I could picture what I probably looked like and I didn't want that image to be anything more than my imagination. I didn't want it to be real. He looked at me but I didn't meet his eyes. I was embarrassed at being so weak and so ugly in front of him. I would never live this down. He put a finger under my chin and gently made me face him.

"Jenny, everything's going to be alright. You'll be okay. I got you," he told me, and it actually helped, a little. He stared into my eyes a long time before adding, "You're beautiful Jenny. Don't ever let anyone make you feel you aren't." My mouth came open a little, but I didn't say anything.

I stared up at him, the gently moved closer, pressing my sore lips against his. He took in a breath, and then he kissed me back, very gently. I started to move my hand from his bare chest downwards, but he stopped me. He pulled back and looked at me again.

"I can't do this Jenny," he told me, as nicely as he could. I looked at him confused. He had given me all the right signs. He flirted with me from day one and he just told me I'm beautiful while looking into my eyes, now he was saying no? He saw my look and started to explain, "I want to but... well, you're vulnerable right now. You aren't thinking straight," I tried to cut him off but he kept talking before I could say anything. "You're Dally's sister. Normally that wouldn't stop me but, Soda-" he stopped talking when he saw my eyes go wide at his name. "I'm sorry," he told me. I just nodded and he walked out, closing the door behind him.

I got undressed in a daze. I turned on the water, but before I got in I took a deep breath and decided to take one peek in the mirror. I'm going to see myself at some point anyways. I looked in, and let out a sigh of relief. I looked like crap, for sure, but it wasn't as bad as I had pictured it. Then again, my mind always seems to think of the worst possible situation. Both eyes were swollen and blue. My left one was worse though. I had bruises all over my face. I had a large cut on the left side of my face and a smaller one on my nose. I also had some bruises on my stomach. I looked like a wreck. But it could have been worse.

I slipped into the shower and the warm water made me relax a little. I washed my hair, and as I was rinsing out the suds, reality hit me. It came out of nowhere. First came the hurt of rejection from Two-Bit. I got angry. Then came the horror of Tim beating on me. It made me even madder. I could see it all happen like I was watching a movie. I saw every move. Every jab I didn't take at him, and got mad at myself. The anger built up inside of me so much I didn't know what to do. Then, finally, reality took its last jab at me. I started to feel all the sad feelings I should have felt for the last two months. I felt what 'normal' girls feel after a break-up like that. I felt two months of stored up feelings that my stubborn mind hadn't let me feel before.

I sank to the bottom of the tub. I curled myself up, pulling my knees up to my chest. I held myself in fetal position and lay there. I felt like crying, but I didn't. I wish I could, I wanted to so badly. It would have released so much stress, but I didn't. The tears wouldn't come. The one time in my life I actually want to cry and I can't. Just another thing that won't go the way I want it to.

Memories started to go through my head like movie clips. I saw myself holding Soda's hand. I saw him smile at me like I was everything to him. I saw us both laughing. I saw him hug me. Then I saw that horrible fight. That memory reminded me of another memory. The memory I hated. The memory I hoped to forget. I saw his broken, crying face when I had told him about Tim. I shuttered at it. Then I heard his voice. "I love you, Jenny." I heard it over and over again. I heard every time he had ever said it. From that first time after Dally had beat him up until the day I broke his heart. The words kept repeating themselves over and over and over.

"Oh my God!" I heard Two-Bit exclaim. I opened my eyes to see him looking down at me. "Jenny! I was knocking and you didn't say anything and... Holy crap Jenny! You're turning blue! This water is freezing! You need to get out!" his words rushed together, and I couldn't understand them. He reached to help me when I didn't move. The noise that came out of my mouth wasn't even human. I didn't mean to make it, but I didn't want him to help me. I didn't want anyone's help. I could do this myself. His hand had frozen just before touching me when I had _snarled_ at him. That's what it was. I had snarled, like a vicious dog.

After a couple minutes, I started to hear what he had just told me. Then I came back to my senses and realized the cold shower water that was pelting my skin was so cold it hurt. I wondered how long I had been laying there. I slowly rolled over onto my front. I was still curled up, but now I was on my knees so my back faced the water. I pulled my hands away from hugging myself and pressed my palms firmly against the bottom of the tub. Every movement hurt. I felt like my muscles were frozen. I took in a deep breath and put all my strength into my arms. I slowly pushed myself up onto my feet. I was so stiff and sore. Once I was standing, I slowly straightened my back. I felt it crack a couple times and felt my muscles cry out in pain. But I made myself stand straight. Finally, I lifted my head and looked straight ahead. I straightened my shoulders and felt my strength come back to me.

Let them do what they want to me. Let the world throw everything it had at me. They could rape me, beat me, hurt me, and distress me, but they will never break me. No matter what, I will pull through. So let me have it, because I can take it. You may be able to knock me down, but you won't ever be able to stop me from getting back up.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Woot! Snow day today! So I got to sleep in then write a couple chapters instead of sitting in _school_(eww)! :D So, what do you guys think? I'll update again soon!**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

Two-Bit turned off the water and wrapped a towel around me. I would have been embarrassed to have him see me naked, but there was too much on my mind. He held my elbow as I stepped out of the tub, and I was thankful for his support. All my muscles were sore and stiff. Two-Bit lead me to his room. It was small and very messy, but I didn't mind. He pulled a large sweater and huge sweat-pants out of his drawer and turned to me.

"Here. Put these on, and get under the covers," he told me gesturing to his bed, "I'll be right back." I did as he asked. It felt good to put on warm clothes. My body was still shivering though. I tried to relax under the blankets but couldn't stop shaking. I woundered if I could die from the cold.

Physically, I felt like crap. But mentally, I was better than I had been in months. I finally felt like myself again, well, sort of. I felt like a stronger version of myself. I was ready to take on anything that came at me. If only my stupid body would stop being so weak and shivering.

Two-Bit came back into the room. He handed me a steaming mug and helped me to sit up. I pushed away his arm; I could sit up by myself. I took a sip of the hot brown fluid. Hot chocolate. I smiled, it was really good and warmed my insides. After a couple more sips, my body had almost entirely stopped shivering. My muscles hurt even more now though, from quaking the way they were, and I felt fatigued. I looked back over to Two-Bit and smiled at him.

"Thanks," I told him. He gave me his big goofy grin and I smiled wider. That's what I had been waiting for my entire time here. That classic Two-Bit grin. He sat down on the bed and started to chat with me. He talked with me like everything was normal. You would think it was just another regular day and we were hanging out like we used to all the time. I really missed this. I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt. He lay on the end of the bed, cracking jokes and smiling up at me. I was so comfortable there. After about an hour I started to feel really tired.

"How you feelin'," Two-Bit asked me, more serious now.

"I'm alright, a little sore, and getting pretty tired, but I'll be fine," I told him yawning. He smiled at me, but I could see something was on his mind.

"Dally don't know about none of this?" he asked me.

"No. He got out of the cooler a couple days ago and I guess some guy told him about me and Tim," I paused, thinking for a second, "Two-Bit? Have you heard anyone spreading rumors about me and Tim?" I asked him, cutting away from my story.

"What do ya mean?" he asked, "I heard things around town you two had a thing but I didn't really believe it at the time."

"Yeah, I mean do you know who might have told Dally?" I asked on a limb. Someone was going to get their head smashed in.

"Well the rumors I heard were that Tim came up to you at a party and stole you right from underneith one of his boys-Paul, I think," he paused.

"Literally," I mumbled, listning to him. He gave me a confused look but let my comment go.

"Heard Tim had it out with Paul and they havn't been speaking since," he concluded. Paul. I never even thought about him after that night. Maybe he was the one who told Dally.

"Hmm, okay," I said thinking, then I remebered I was supposed to be telling Two-Bit what happened. "Anyways, Dally found out about me and Tim as soon as he was out and went and beat Tim up pretty good, then he came home and yelled at me. I stormed out and went to Tim's, and saw him with Sylvia. We started arguing and then..." I trailed off, remembering, but snapped back to reality when I realized Two-Bit was still watching me. "Then, he did this," I said guesturing to my face, "and I ran out of there, and eventually, came here." I finished quickly.

"Wow, busy day," he said, and I laughed a little bit.

"Yeah, but, I think I'm okay now, like I feel a lot better," I told him sincerely.

"When you going to talk to Dal?" he asked me. I groaned out loud. I didn't want to have to go talk to Dally. I wanted to stay under the blankets, nice and warm and talk with Two-Bit forever. But I knew that wasn't an option.

"Can I go to sleep? And I think I'll go over there when I wake up," I answered, after thinking for a while. He smiled and nodded, then got up and left the room after a snarky comment.

For the first time in a while, I fell asleep cozy and happy.

SODA'S POV

I thought about Jenny all the time. I tried not to, but I couldn't help it. I wondered if she was alright, or how Dally was being to her. None of the guys see her very often anymore, or if they do they don't tell me. It hurts a lot, how much I miss her. But she hurt me. She hurt me so bad. Darry and Ponyboy are being really nice to me, and carefull of what they say, and not mentioning her. It made it easier having them around. That made me feel bad for Jenny though, all she had was Dally, and that ain't much. I had heard rumors about her and Tim around town. I tried to convince myself that I didn't care if they were still together, but it didn't work. I hoped the rumors were only rumors.

I was sitting on the couch, watching some dumb show, when Two-Bit came waltzing in the door. He nodded hello, but the fact that he wasn't grinning or cracking jokes yet caught my attention.

"What's up Two-Bit?" I asked, giving him my full attention so he would know I could tell something was up with him. He looked at me, and seemed to be contemplating on weather or not to tell me for a minute. Eventually he sighed and sat down beside me.

"I know you don't like hearing about... her, but, well... I think you might want to hear this," he said, and he was so serious I was kind of scared. Two-Bit isn't a serious guy, so this must be big. I nodded for him to go on. "She showed up at my place the other night. She was real bad off Soda. Her face was... it was so bad. She was bruised and cut up. She acted kind of delusional," he started explaining. My eyes got wide. She was hurt? What had happened? Where was Dally? Where was Jenny now? So many questions ran through my head, but I couldn't say anything. "I took care of her, don't worry. She's alright now, went back to talk to Dally." I gasped. Dally. Did Dally do it to her? She finally pushed him over the edge and he snapped. I was going to kill him!

"D-Dally?" I asked Two-Bit. His eyes widened at me.

"No! No, Dally didn't do it. Soda, It was Tim," I let out a sigh of relief, but stopped myself when he told me it was Tim. Tim Shepard? Holy shit. I stood up and started pacing with rage. How could I let this happen?

"Tim? TIM! Fuck! No, no, no! This is all my fault. If I wouldv'e just forgiven her! She wouldn't have even been near him. Shit!" I was rambiling my thoughts. Two-Bit watched me silently as I freaked out. Eventually, I started to wind down a little bit and sat back down. "How could this happen? Oh crap." I sat shaking my head and trying to think through my thoughts. At one point left Two-Bit and went up to me and Pony's room to try to think clearly.

I loved her. I loved her so much. And if I would have just forgiven her, she wouldn't be in this mess. Tim Shepard beat her up! Her beat her up! I wanted to kill him. I couldn't even think about him without wanting to hit something right now. Was I wrong to break up with Jenny? If I had forgiven her, this wouldn't have happened, but I would be stuck in a relationship with a girl who doesn't love me. I love her so much but she doesn't love me. She couldn't even say it. It killed me that day when I had told her to tell me she loved me. I remember the look on her face. I can't even describe it. At first she look confused and a little bit afraid. Then her entire face had hardend over so she was expressionless. She had put on a mask-the mask we greasers use against socs-to avoid telling me she loved me. She didn't love me, she couldn't. But I loved her. And even if she wouldn't admit it, she needed me. Without me, she only had Dally, and just look at how that worked out.

I had to go see her, to make sure she was alright. To ask her how she's been. To tell her I love her. To tell her I want her back. I had to go see her. I loved her and she needed me, so we should be together. Even if it meant loving someone who wouldn't-and maybe couldn't-love me back.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty-Six

I paused before stepping inside. Maybe Dally went out. Maybe he wasn't even there. I doubt it though. I took a breath and stepped in. Sure enough, he was right there, and just as mad as he had been when I left two days ago.

"JENNY! I WASN'T DONE..." he trailed off as he looked at me. "What happened?" he asked, but his tone still wasn't friendly.

"You don't got to worry about Tim and me no more. We're done." I told him, trying to walk past. I knew he was going to rub it in that he told me so, and I didn't want to hear it.

"What? Who did this Jenny?" he asked, stopping me before I could go upstairs. Had I not made myself clear enough? I rolled my eyes at him.

"Tim." I said casually, knowing he would flip out.

"WHAT! THAT BASTERD! I'M GOING TO KILL HIM! THAT..." he went on to curse as he turned and ran out the door. I stood and debated weather I should go watch or not. If I went, well, I would get to see Tim get his head kicked in. That would be great to see. Then again, I would have to see him. I would have to be back in that place, see that house again, see his face again. Even if he was getting his ass kicked, I didn't really want to see him again. Ever. So I decided to stay home, eat something and relax.

It was dark when Dally got back. He stormed up to my room as soon as he got in the door. I was sitting in front of my mirror trying to see if I had any make-up that could cover the bruises without making me look like a clown when he threw open my door. He was dirty and angry and he had a black eye coming on. I just looked at him.

"Knock much?" I said sarcastically. He didn't laugh, he glared at me. "How bad you give it to him?" I asked casually.

"He had to go to the hospital," he said through his teeth, no matter how mad he is, he still had to brag a little. I raised my eyebrows at him then smiled as if to say 'atta boy.' He still glared at me. "Jenny! I told you he was no good for you! Are you stupid! Why? Why Tim? Just to upset me? Dammit! You had to have known it would end up like this!" he started lecturing me, but I stood up and stopped him.

"NO! No I didn't know Dal! Do you think 'I told you so' is what I want to hear right now? I don't want to hear any of this! You're acting like this is MY fault!" I screamed at him, fuming with rage. So I didn't see this coming. So what? That doesn't mean I'm stupid!

Surprisingly enough, he didn't yell back at me. His eyebrows furrowed together and he shut his mouth, for once. I stared him down for a minute to make sure he wasn't going to snap at me, then plopped down on my bed. I rubbed the side of my face gently, where one of the bruises were. I felt Dally sit down beside me, but didn't look over at him. After a little while I felt his arm on my shoulders, and tensed a little. Then his hand hesitantly started patting my hair. I sighed and slowly put my head on his shoulder and it was his turn to tense up. He relaxed after a couple seconds though and we sat like that for a while.

"You think the cop's are going to come around looking for you?" I asked him quietly.

"No. Tim won't squeal on me, he never has before. I never beat him that bad before though either. But I still don't think he'll go to the cops. We both hate the fuzz more than each other. It's like we're the lesser of two evils," he told me, then sighed "although I'm not too sure about that anymore. The cops never beat up my little sister," he added miserably. I smiled and pulled away from him then stood up.

"You should ice that," I told him, gesturing to his eye. "I'm going to get some sleep."

"Okay," he said and stood up. I called out to him before he closed my door behind him and he peeked his head back in.

"Uh... thank you," I told him akwardly. He grinned a little and gave me a nod, then left. I sighed and crawled into bed.

The next day, Two-Bit came over to ask how I was. I told him I was alright and he convinced me to go out and get something to eat with him. I didn't want to go out looking the way I did. I didn't want people to see the bruises. But Two-Bit managed to get me to go with him anyways. He's really perswasive. We walked into the little diner and I sat down in one of the booths.

"I'll be right back," Two-Bit told me and wandered off. I just shrugged and read through the menu. After a little while, I saw out of the corner of my eye Two-Bit sit down across from me. I looked up smiling, ready to make a corky comment to him, but when I saw him my face fell. It wasn't Two-Bit. It was Sodapop.

I felt my emotions rush through me. I wanted to hug him because I missed him. I wanted to scream at him for what I've been through because of him. I wanted to run out of there. I didn't know what to do. So I swallowed all my feelings and settled for a simple, "hi."

"Hi," he said back, staring at me. I blushed under my bruises. He had a worried look on his face, "how are you?"

"Uh... I'm alright. How you been?" I asked dumbly.

"Good," he said, smiling a little, but I could tell he was still worried, "I heard what happened." I looked around for Two-Bit. I would bet any money he had ran and told Soda as soon as I left then set us up like this. I sighed at him.

"Yeah, I've had better days," I said, biting my lip nervously. Just being near Soda was making me nervous. He reached and grabbed my hand, which surprised me. "Why are you here?" I asked suddenly.

"Listen, Jenny, I'm real sorry. I feel awful about this. If I would've just forgiven you before... This wouldn't have happened. This shouldn't have happened! I'm so sorry," he was rambling and I shushed him.

"Soda, don't blame yourself. It's not your fault, so don't worry about it. I'm okay now, really. And don't worry 'bout Tim either, Dally already gave him what he deserved," I told him, and smiled a little to support my words.

"But it wouldn't have happened if I weren't so stubborn! I'm sorry, Jenny," he paused then looked me in the eyes, I looked back questionally, "I love you, Jenny." He said. My jaw dropped. He still loved me? After everything that happened, he still loved me? I quickly closed my mouth so he wouldn't get the wrong idea about my reaction. My palms got sweaty and my heart felt like it was beating so fast it would pop. He loved me. It had been so long since I heard him say that. So long since I felt this unbelievable joy that made me feel so good and warm. It had been so long since I had even seen him. When I didn't say anything he continued.

"Jenny, I love you so much. I never stopped loving you. I know you won't say it back. I know you won't. But I love you anyways," each time he said it I felt my heart flutter and I wanted to kiss him and hug him and never let him go. But for some reason, I just sat there staring at him a he poured his heart out. "Jenny, I think we should get back together," he told me, smiling. He squeezed my hand and waited for me to talk. I waited for me to talk. Why wouldn't I say anything? I wanted him. I wanted to scream 'yes' at the top of my lungs.

"No." I said.

Soda's face dropped. I felt like I had just crushed his heart in my hands, along with my own. I couldn't say yes though. If I said yes, it would only end badly. I made a mistake going out with him the first time. I wasn't going to make that mistake again, no matter how badly I wanted to. I would only get hurt again, and so would he. I got to learn from my mistakes. I can't go through that pain again. I can't be as attached to him as I am. I can't love him because I'll just get hurt. If I ever want to be the strong, confident, unbreakable girl I am again, I have to break away from him. I had to end it right there. Looking at his face made me want to kick myself. He looked so sad, it hurt to see him like that.

"Soda, I can't..." I didn't know how to explain it to him, "I just can't... I..." I sighed, "I'm sorry," I whispered. I pulled my hand away from his and quickly slid out of the booth. I fast-walked out the doors and didn't look back, but not before I saw a tear slide down his cheek. That tear almost made me break down right there and kiss him and tell him I didn't mean it. But I couldn't do that. So I ran off. It was better for both of us this way. It was better for us to be apart. It had to be.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty-Seven

The next month was a good one. My bruises and cuts healed quickly, and I soon looked like myself again. I had told Dally the full story of what happened with Tim (leaving out the part involving Sylvia and I's talk), and he, in turn, dumped Sylvia on her ass. We found out that when Tim went to the hospital the doc said he was surprised he didn't die from the beating. So turns out Dally had nearly beat Tim to death, which made me laugh. Even with the doctor's report and police questioning, Dally was right and Tim never squealed on him. I found out Paul was the one who told Dally about me and Tim in the first place, and he got the beating he deserved, making him no longer Paul, but 'the guy who got beat up by Dallas Winston's little sister'. I still missed Soda a lot, but it wasn't like the last two months. I had closure now. I was sure it was the right thing for us to be apart now. It had to be. I went out a lot more. I hung out with Two-Bit and Johnny mostly, and Dally. I would see Ponyboy every once in a while too, but I had the feeling he was mad at me for what happened with Soda. I steered clear of Steve because I knew he hated me for hurting his best friend. I felt bad, but I didn't regret telling Soda no. I figured it was for the better. I avoided the Curtis' and the DX, just because I didn't want to have to face him again. I hoped he was doing okay though.

I went to a lot of Buck's parties, just for fun. I would go downstairs and clean the guys out in a game of poker then dance and drink a little. Sometimes, if I were tipsy and looking for fun, I would make out with some cute guy there. I never took it any further than that though, they didn't mean anything to me. I always had to look around and make sure Dally wasn't in the room before I did any stupid stuff like that though. Me and Dal still fought a lot, but it was mostly a mutual relationship. We would easily make up again then be back to fighting in a couple of nights. It didn't bother me too much though. When two people have tempers like ours, you can expect arguments. None of our disagreements were very bad though, just little squabbles. That is, until he pissed me off at one of Buck's parties one night.

I was having a pretty good time, just drinking and laughing with Two-Bit, when I looked across the room and saw him. He was standing there, full-on making out with none other than Sylvia. I felt anger surge through me. He knew how much I hated her, how badly she had screwed us both over. Yet, here he was with his tongue down her throat. My eyes narrowed and I stormed across the room to them. I grabbed her by the hair, yanking her backwards off of my brother, and punched her hard in the eye. She yelped, not even fully aware of what was happening yet, and I threw her to the ground like the trash she was.

"WHAT THE FUCK, DAL?" I screamed in his face. He looked at me surprised then clenched his jaw. He looked around at the crowd that had formed around us and grabbed my arm, pulling me up the stairs to his room. It hurt where he grabbed me, but I wasn't about to let him know that. He slammed his bedroom door behind him and turned to face me. Before he could speak I started screaming again, "WHAT THE FUCK'S WRONG WITH YOU? THAT'S SYLVIA! THAT'S DESGUSTING!"

"WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? WHAT DOES IT MATTER TO YOU WHO I'M WITH?" He exploded, and my jaw dropped. What does it matter? Maybe because IT'S SYLVIA! The girl who slept with Tim Shepard, screwing over me and Dallas. Not to mention that Shepard, in return, beat me senseless. I was shocked speechless, and he took that opportunity to vent some more, "not to mention you just caused a huge fucking scene down there! Do you know how fucking embarrassing that was!"

"WHAT! DO YOU KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING IT IS TO LOOK ACROSS THE ROOM AND SEE MY BROTHER MAKING OUT WITH SYLVIA! SHE FUCKED ME OVER DAL! I HATE HER!" I snapped at him. "DON'T GO NEAR HER AGAIN DALLY! I DON'T WANT HER IN MY LIFE! I DON'T WANT YOU TWO TOGETHER!" I told him.

"I don't give a fuck," he said through clenched teeth. I felt betrayed. He would choose a worthless whore over me. He would keep Sylvia around knowing how badly his little sister hated her. He didn't care how much I hated her. Just being near her made me want to knock her out. In fact, I don't think I have been in the same place as her without beating her up, yet. He didn't care about what I wanted and he didn't care about me. Fuck him. I glared at him as I stood up. I didn't say anything, there was nothing more to say. I slammed the door as I left his room and crossed the hall to my own.

The music was still blaring downstairs. I doubted anyone had even heard us yelling. I tried my best to tune it out. I lay on my bed throwing a ball up and catching it, trying to calm myself. He didn't give a damn about me. He didn't care about anything. I heard my door creak open but didn't look to see who it was.

"Get the fuck out," I told the intruder, in a tone that said there would be no arguing with me. The person didn't leave, but I could hear them hesitate.

"No," finally came a shaky voice. I looked up at Sylvia standing awkwardly in front of my closed door. I narrowed my eyes at her and started to get up, but her next words stopped me. "I ended it."

I gave her a confused look to urge her to go on. "I realize you don't like Dally being with me," she said. I guess she figured that out by the black eye I just gave her, I thought, laughing inwardly at her stupidity. "I... uh... I kind of figured I owed you one. I mean, that night, at Tim's," she started, but paused biting her lip, "I was frozen there, Jen. If you didn't grab my hand and get me out of there like you did I wouldn't have been able to..." she trailed off, "even after what happened to you, you still... anyways, I just figured I owed you one," she said nervously. I didn't reply, just stared at her. She shuffled her feet nervously, "you don't have to like me or nothing, I mean, sometimes I don't even like me, but I wanted you to see I can do the right thing... sometimes," she told me. I looked her up and down. I gave her a small nod and lay back down. She smiled a little bit and left my room.

I started to throw the little ball again. So Sylvia, a girl who cheated and lied and whored herself around, ended it with Dally for me. Dally wouldn't do that. I guess maybe Sylvia did have a heart, after all. That's more than I could say for Dally. He didn't care about me or how I felt. Sylvia cared more than him, and that's saying a lot. I'm his sister for crying out loud! He couldn't even do this one thing for me! That's because in Dally's world, he's the only thing that matters. I was nothing to him. He didn't care who he inconvenienced or hurt.

I didn't need him. I could live without him. I had done it for years. If I didn't matter to him, he wouldn't matter to me either.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews! I think I may post another chapter tonight, if not then tomorrow for sure. Soda will be back in the next chapter, I'll probably do another one of his POV. Only a couple chapters left and I can't wait to get the ending posted for you guys! Keep reviewing please!**


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty-Eight

I spent the next week ignoring Dally. He didn't seem to mind, and if he did he didn't show it. I didn't talk to him or even try to make up with him. He tried talking to me once, but I had just turned around and left the room. He gave up after that.

It was just past noon. I had a crappy hangover from partying the night before, and decided to sleep it off. I took some pills then crawled back into my bed and was asleep almost instantly.

_I was young again. Young, weak and fragile. But not innocent, I was never innocent. Too much happened in my house for me to be innocent. It was dark. I was watching a little boy pack things. Some food. Some clothes. Money. A gun. His blond hair kept getting in the way of his eyes and he kept pushing it back. I stepped towards him. I was crying. I had been here before, but this time, I knew what was going on. _

"_Where are you going?" I asked him quietly._

_He explained he was leaving. He couldn't stay here anymore. I knew he would say that, I had already heard those words. I had already felt this feeling of betrayal, of total abandonment._

"_Take me with you," why did I even bother to ask him? I knew his answer before he said it._

"_No," and it was worse than any blow my father had ever given me._

_He was leaving now. Walking away from me. I couldn't stop myself. I ran up and hugged him as hard as my little arms could. I was weeping so much. He turned in my grasp and put his hands on my cheeks. I looked into those blue eyes, those eyes so much like my own, begging him to stay. _

"_I love you," I told him. I heard the words echo around my head. He wiped my tears and kissed my head. I love you. Don't leave me here. I love you. You can't go. He pulled away from me and left. He never even said it back. Why wouldn't he say it back? I collapsed to the floor with a thud._

Hitting the floor in my dream jolted me awake. My hangover was gone, but the feeling that replaced it was a horrible empty darkness in the pit of my stomach. I woke up panting. I was sweating and shaking. I glanced at the clock. 5:45 pm. I slid the covers off of me and stood up, but nearly fell again because I was so shaky. I mentally shook myself and started pacing. 'It was just a dream,' I told myself. But it wasn't. It was much worse than that. A memory. A memory I had pushed to the back of my head in hopes of never thinking about it again. So much for that. I tried to forget it, but couldn't.

He never told me he loved me. He couldn't say it. I was his sister, he was everything to me! The only sane thing in my world. I said it to him and he never said it back. Instead, he left me. I was only ten! I was weak and hurt and I needed him and he left me! My lip trembled and without a second thought I ran through the door and into Dally's room. He groaned and rolled over in his bed. I guess he was hung-over too.

"What do you want?" he asked miserably.

"Why couldn't you say it, huh?" I was close to hysterics. My words were rushed and I was breathing hard. He looked at me confused. "Why didn't you say it! I was ten! Ten! I needed you! My big brother! You wouldn't say it! I told you! I said it! I told you I loved you and you never said it back!" I said, nearly yelling. His eyes widened and he sat up. I was shaking my head, trying to collect myself. "You're my brother, Dally! And I love you!"

I gasped at my own outburst. It had been almost seven years since I last said that. I bit my lip to keep from breaking down. He didn't say anything, and after a minute of him not talking, not saying it back, I broke.

"Just tell me you love me!" I screamed hysterically, but my voice cracked, and before I knew it, I was crying. I honestly didn't think I even knew how to cry anymore. Apparently, I did. I was sobbing so hard I fell to the floor and put my face in my hands. He still didn't say anything.

After an eternity of shaking and crying I felt his hand on my back. I yanked to pull away, but he quickly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him. If I had any pride left I would've pulled away and spat on him then left him and never returned. But I didn't. I needed his comfort and for once, he was offering it. I clenched onto his shirt and sobbed into his chest. He whispered "shh," to me and rubbed my back.

Eventually, I gained control of myself. My lungs and ribs hurt from crying so much, but I actually felt better. I stopped crying and started making only short little gasping noises, like a child who has cried to long and hard to be able to breathe. Dally picked me up and put my on his bed. He held my face in his hand and looked me in the eyes. I suddenly remembered the dream, that night, when I said it and he looked at me like this, kissed the top of my head and left. At that moment, that was my biggest fear. He would leave again. My eyes went wide and I held my breath waiting for it to happen again.

"Can I talk now?" He asked gently. I let out my breath with relief that he spoke instead of leaving me there, and nodded. He let go of my face and walked over to his dresser, then turned and looked back at me.

"I couldn't say it. Jenny, you have to understand, I had to get out of that house. I got twice as many beatings as you. I took most of yours for you so you wouldn't have to. I wouldn't have lasted much longer with that. When you said it, when I looked at your little face, it took all my strength to leave. Jenny, if I would've said it back I wouldn't have been able to go. I wouldn't have gotten out of there. Admitting it to you would have bound me to you and I would have died staying there," he explained, and he sounded so sincere, so real, it didn't even sound like him. I didn't interrupt, I let him keep going. "You're doing the same thing with Soda," I gave him a quizzical looked and he explained. "You're afraid to say it back to him because if you do you won't be able to leave. You'll never be able to end it and that scares you because you've never been so attached to anyone. And if you say it to him, you won't ever get away." So much of what he was saying made so much sense. It made me understand it all. I looked at him with wide eyes. He understood so much more than I thought he did.

"Dal..." I said weakly, my voice scratchy, but he raised a hand to quiet me before I could say anymore. He walk close to me and tucked my hair behind my ear. I heard him take a deep breath.

"You're my sister, Jenny, and... I love you too," he said slowly. There it was. Finally. Took him seven years, but he finally said it. I smiled at him and hugged him. He hugged me back and I felt like I wouldn't ever let go.

He was so right about everything. He didn't want to tell me he loved me because it would bind him to me, and that scared him. I was just as afraid of letting myself feel that bind with... Oh my god! Soda! I had to go see him! I had to tell him I loved him! I was so afraid of saying it, but I'm not anymore. Dally said it, and I could say it too. I jumped up out of his arms and it startled him a little bit.

"I have to see Soda!" I said excitedly, and turned to run out the door. He grabbed my arm though and pulled me back. I was surprised but when I looked back he was smiling at me. My eyebrows furrowed together as I tried to wiggle out of his grasp.

"You aren't going like that are you?" He asked, mockingly. I looked down at my clothes. I had on old shorts and a baggy t-shirt. He let me go and I ran into my room and threw on the first decent thing I saw. I red skirt past my knees and a white top. I was changed so quickly it blew my mind. I ran out the door and down the street to the Curtis'.

* * *

SODA'S POV

6:00 pm. Ponyboy and Darry were fighting again. I couldn't take this. I thought about Jenny all the time. She really didn't love me. She didn't want to be with me. This last month has been torture. I can't sleep because I dream of her. I don't eat as much as I used to. I don't talk to people very much anymore. I missed her. So much.

Darry and Pony have been fighting more than usual because they don't have me to comfort them or break up their arguments. I feel bad. I wish I could help, but it's hard when your mind is somewhere else. I wished they would stop yelling. I couldn't think.

I decided I wanted to get out. Clear my head. I hadn't gone anywhere except to work all month. I got up and went into the kitchen to the two of them. They stopped yelling as soon as I walked in. They have been trying really hard not to fight while I was in the room, I don't see why though, I can hear them from anywhere in the house. I appreciated their effort though.

"Hey little buddy, you need anything?" Darry asked me. I looked at him, then at Ponyboy.

"I'm going to go out. Get some fresh air. Try to clear my head. I'll be back before midnight," I told them. Darry nodded and they both looked worriedly at me. I turned and walked outside. I hopped in the truck and drove down the street. I didn't know where I was going. I just needed to get away. To get somewhere that I was secluded from the rest of the world. Somewhere I could relax.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Okay, close to the end now. Tell me what you think! Please review! I didn't like that I kind of had to make Dally get a bit soft in this chapter, because it took him out of the hard character S.E Hinton has so realistically created, but I had to for it to work in the story, and it's hard to make someone say 'I love you' without them sounding soft. I'll update again soon, but I want to hear what you think!**


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty-Nine

I got to the Curtis' and jumped up onto their porch, skipping every step. I lunged through the door and turned to the living room. Ponyboy was on the couch with Two-Bit and Darry was sitting in the old arm chair. They all looked at me like I was crazy, which, at the moment, I was.

"WHERE'S SODA?" I screamed hurriedly. None of them replied. I could see their hesitation in telling me. Considering what happened the last time I came running into their house like this, I didn't blame them. "It's a good thing this time!" I said smiling.

"We don't know, he said he was going out. Needed to clear his head," Darry told me, reluctantly. My smile faded. I didn't want to wait around here for him to get back. I had to tell him now! Where could he have gone? I tried to think about him, where he would go to clear his head. If I were Soda, where would I go? It immediately hit me.

"Two-Bit, can I borrow your car?" I asked, he gave me a confused look but nodded and dug in his pocket for his keys. It took him entirely too long to finally get them out and throw them to me. I snatched them out of the air and ran out the door without pausing to explain. I had to go find him!

I jumped into the car and drove off quickly. I knew where he would be. He needed time with his thoughts, time alone. He had to be at our little spot, on top of the hill looking at the city. I loved that spot. We had spent so many dates there, talking and kissing. In a way, it was like our own little haven. A place where there were no socs or greasers. No problems, money or family-wise. We could just escape the chaos of the world we lived in and be ourselves for a couple hours. We could relax, and be happy. I sped down the road as fast as I could.

I finally got there and parked the car. I dove out and ran down the short pathway. I finally came to our hill and looked up to see him standing at the top. He wasn't facing me; he was looking the other way. It was sunset. I could see the orange and red light outline his silhouette. He looked so perfect standing up on that hill. I wanted to run to him, but couldn't move.

"Soda," I called, just loud enough for him to hear me. He turned and looked at me. He was so beautiful, standing in the sunset the way he was. I couldn't read his expression, but I didn't care. He was there, that's all that mattered.

The breeze was blowing my skirt against my legs, and my hair into my face. I reached up and pushed a strand out of my face. I let out a tiny laugh, just from the happiness, from the sight of him. I wanted to remember this moment forever. He didn't say anything, he just watched me. Finally, I pushed the hair back out of my face once more, and then smiled into his eyes.

"I love you."

I swear my heart skipped a beat as I said it. His eyes widened, and then he smiled. I had never seen such a beautiful smile in my life. I smiled wildly at him and took a step closer.

"I love you," I repeated, and stepped closer, "I love you! I love you!" It felt so good to say. "I love you!" He finally snapped out of his haze and closed the space between us with two quick steps. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me as close to him as he could. His lips hit mine and my whole world exploded into love and excitement and pure happiness. He broke away and held my face in between his hands, staring into my eyes.

"I love you," he told me. This was right. This was the way things were supposed to be. No more stupid mistakes, no more pain, we would make it work. I loved him and he loved me and that's what mattered. This was the way it was supposed to be. This was what my life was supposed to be. I was happy. I was comfortable. I was home. I was in love.

"I love you too," it was barely more than a whisper this time, and we smiled at each other. He bent and kissed me again. And, for the first time in my life, I felt like everything was exactly the way it was supposed to be.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**And, I know it's extremely corny and over-rated but I have to say it: AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!**

**So, there you go! The End.**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I loved you're support throughout the story and it was one of the things that kept me updating so fast. I realize it's kind of a corny ending, with the sunset and kiss and everything, but I could see this scene in my head and had to write it. I tried my best to describe it the way I saw it for you guys, I hoped you liked it! Please review and tell me how I did! I think for my next story, I'm not going to do an OC, and instead try to do something involving Johnny and Dally's friendship. I don't really know yet, but I'm defiantly going to write another OC story at some point, so if liked this and you want more look me up once in a while and see if I've posted anything. Again, thanks to all my reviewers and followers!**

**Till next time,**

**-Taylor  
**


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